The NOT Top Plays Of The Day

The Jacksonville Jaguars successfully allowed a punter (who runs a 4.4 sec – 40 yard dash in pads apparently) outrun their entire team:


Marquette King HAS to be the fastest punter in the history of the NFL, somebody get a clock on that guy immediately.

The San Francisco 49ers (pausing for dramatic affect)………..they just REALLY suck, sorry guys:


Athletes To Trump: What Kind Of Locker Room Are You Spending Time In?

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Athletes To Trump: What Kind Of Locker Room Are You Spending Time In?

It doesn’t take a locker room to make shitty men talk like shitty men amongst themselves, but at last night’s debate, Donald Trump doubled down on his claim that his 2005 comments that he used his wealthy status to sexually assault women by grabbing them by the pussy were “just locker room talk.” He then began ranting about ISIS, which last time I checked was not a party to his comments to Billy Bush.

 Athletes derided Trump for intimating that conversations about using power to sexually assault women are common locker room talk, with some pointing out that his doughy ass probably hasn’t been in a locker room in years.




In the last few days, I’ve seen men jump to say Trump is misrepresenting the way men talk about women when they are alone, and I’ve seen men jump to say that anyone who claims men do not speak lewdly about women when they are not around is a liar. As a woman, I can’t say whether it is one way or the other, which is yet another part of this that I find deeply unsettling.

 The opinion amongst athletes who have spoken about this seems to universally be that Trump’s comments are not the norm in the locker rooms they live in all year, though it would take a special type of asshole (or presidential nominee) to tweet that they brag about sexually assault women while in a work environment.







Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Chris Conley went off on Trump’s insistence that it was locker room talk in a series of tweets:







The truth of it is that while some men may speak of women with respect, and others might be lewd, rude, and predatory, among us there is only one currently on the ballot to become President of the United States. And we know what type of man he is.

The NBA Is Back

Who throws a shoe?  Honestly??

What’s more impossible to believe….Joel Embiid doesn’t know how to drink out of a Gatorade bottle….or….Joel Embiid is in a uniform and on an NBA basketball court?

Gregg Popovich Is America’s Wise, Old Grandpa


San Antonio’s Coach Pop, the world’s first-most renowned expert on sarcasm and live television Dad-scolding, sounded off on the Colin Kaepernick National Anthem protest that has swept the nation faster than Donald Trump’s poop-words concerning our fine country.

Popovich, an Air Force veteran, heavily warned a reporter that “general questions” only reap “general answers”, and that demagoguery (Trump and Government in General?) is the enemy of civilization’s progress (flying cars and hoverboards), AND that there isn’t an issue in America that isn’t informed by race. (The San Antonio Express-News has transcribed the entire interview, and 100% go read it.)

What are your thoughts on what’s going on in the country?

“I think it’s really dangerous to answer such important questions that have confounded so many people for hundreds of years, to ask me to give you my solutions, as if I had any, in 30 seconds. So if you want to be specific about a question, I’ll be more than happy to answer it because I think race is the elephant in the room in our country. The social situation that we’ve all experienced is absolutely disgusting in a lot of ways. What’s really interesting is the people that jump right away to say, one is attacking the police, or the people that jump on the other side. It’s a question where understanding and empathy has to trump, no pun intended, has to trump any quick reactions of an ideological or demagogical nature. It’s a topic that can’t just be swung at, people have to be very accurate and direct in what they say and do.”

Can we all say in unison: POP FOR PRESIDENT!  POP FOR PRESIDENT!!

Popovich is the 3rd professional head coach (old white guy) to sound off recently when asked about the protesting of the National Anthem.

Chip Kelly: “We all have inalienable rights as a citizen of this country and they’re being violated”.

Steve Kerr: “No matter what side of the spectrum you’re on, I would hope that every American is disgusted with what is going on around the country”.

It’s empowering to see that even people who have not (more than likely) themselves been victims of social imbalances or had the pendulum of racism tip away from their favor at any point in their life, can still recognize the problems so eloquently and provide insight as well as empathy about it.  The only answer that I can see immediately is the most obvious first step, more and more discussion about racial injustices are overdue and beyond necessary.  We must push the agenda to discuss the topics publicly instead of pushing them under the rug, we must also accept the conflict of discussion with an open mind instead of hiding behind ignorance.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

“I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality… I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.”

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”



NFL Week 1 Overreaction – Quick Week 2 Preview


Football is finally back!  Coach Belichick is so excited he nearly knocked over his wife with a Brady/Gisele baby-making level pregame kiss.

The overreaction Tuesday morning was staggering, after week 1 of the NFL season every analyst and fan is more ready to boom or bust than a porn star who’s nominated for best actress in a multi-character scene award at the Stiffy’s.

Week 1 Most Impressive Win


No Tom Brady?  No problem.  Traveling 2,600 miles to play an NFC Superbowl contender with an aggressive, scary defense?  No problem.  Jimmy Garoppolo starting for the first time in his career?  No problem.  No Gronk?  No problem.

Jimmy Garoppolo threw for 264 yards and a touchdown, leading the New England Patriots to a 23-21 victory over the favored Arizona Cardinals.

Arizona’s Chandler Catanzaro missed a 47-yard field goal with 41 seconds to play that would’ve given the Cards the game (ouch).  The “laces-out-Dan” came after Garoppolo directed the Patriots from their own 19 to the Arizona 15 to set up Stephen Gostkowski‘s 23-yard field goal for what proved to be the winner with 3:44 to play.

Why does it feel like the Pats are gonna go 3-1 or 4-0 without Brady and then cruise through the regular season?  It just feels like the hurricane is coming when they get healthy.

Week 1 Most Disappointing Loss


My word the Rams looked terrible.  I’m forever convinced that whatever team is the focus of HBO’s Hard Knocks, is destined to have a terrible season similar to the “Madden Curse”.  The Rams offense looked like an unfolded lawn chair on Sunday.  Top 3 fantasy running back and Carl’s Junior burger rep, Todd Gurley, ran for 47 yds on 17 carries, while the “I guess he’s our starter” QB, Case Keenum tossed for 130 yds on 17-30 passing.  The Rams consumed a total of 10 first downs the entire game, and 185 total yards which ranks them 31st in the league (how is that NOT last place?  Oh yeah, Buffalo).  The 49ers are on the brink of full dumpster-fire status and yet the Rams are currently worse, I know it’s a long season but the inaugural return football to LA looks like any Nic Cage movie NOT titled “Raising Arizona” or “The Rock” or “Face Off”……..just BAD from the very first second.

  Week 1 Most Annoying Topic

Josh Norman NOT shadowing Antonio Brown, thus AB proceeding to torch the Redskins in video game-ish form going for 126 yards receiving and 2 TDs.  Seriously, Antonio Brown is more unguardable than Steph Curry would be if the defender was wearing ice skates.

Having said that, it’s mind-boggling that the Redskins DIDN’T put Norman on Brown the entire game.  There’s no answer that makes sense for that strategy.  “Don’t let the other guys beat us” strategies very rarely work, especially in the NFL when it comes to an offense that clicks harder than Adam Sandler with a remote control and a badly conceptualized comedy.

But at this point, I’ve heard enough.  Move on from Josh Norman and the Redskins, they don’t matter in the NFC anyway, it’s Carolina and Arizona’s conference to lose this season.

Week 2 (and future) Questions

  1. Is Denver real?  Can they keep the running game going and hide the fact that they really don’t have a QB?  Or will Simeon turn into a player?
  2. Will Carolina lose another game this season?
  3. What the hell is going on with Seattle?
  4. Oakland is scary folks, seriously.  Check them out.
  5. Pittsburgh’s offense may end up being the best in the NFL this season, can they do enough on defense and stay healthy enough to make another Superbowl run?  (I really like watching Big Ben play QB, don’t you?)

You Know It’s A Slow Time In Sports When…..


Yesterday a guy dove head first into the Yankees dugout, knocked himself unconscious and then was arrested.

This description of events, from the New York Daily News, is funny:

“It kind of freaked me out, actually,” Girardi said. “I think he tried to jump in, but he was probably not in a state to be walking.”

Girardi said the fan landed on the steps, hitting his side after falling from the top of the dugout. He tried to get up and fell again, this time hitting the back of his head. Stadium security moved quickly to apprehend the fan and escorted him out of the dugout and off the field.


I couldn’t find any video of the events, so here’s a squirrel doing squirrel things:

And in Little League World Series news, this happened:


Also, this happened: