A Cut Below: The NBA’s 10 Worst Haircuts of All Time

NBA

(originally posted on Mandatory.com)

The NBA has always been a unique beacon of style and culture overlapping a wide spectrum of complex (and sometimes eccentric) individualism. NBA players are known for their trendsetting style and personalities, at times demonstrating the perils of having too much money and no ideas on what to do with it. Which has, of course, lead several athletes into a tornado of bad hairstyling decisions, either on purpose or purely out of a lack of caring. We’ve rounded up the 10 worst hairstyle fails in NBA history, in no particular order because they all deserve to be crowned worst of the worst. Enjoy!

1/10

Chris Anderson

Chris Anderson

The only thing more rock star than his edgy hairstyle was the insane amount of ink that “The Birdman” of the NBA donned during his tenure in the league. Anderson was truly the NBA’s version of Mötley Crüe, tatted from head to toe and ready to rock at any moment.

2/10

Robin Lopez

Robin Lopez

If you’ve ever seen The Simpsons, then you probably knew where we were going with this one. Robin Lopez is the 7-foot equivalent of a cartoon character who terrorizes backboards instead of insane clowns.

3/10

Steve Nash

Steve Nash

Even two league MVP trophies and eight all-star selections can’t hide the fact that he had a serial killer haircut for most of his Hall of Fame career. Sorry Steve, but it’s true.

4/10

Larry Bird

Larry Bird

Larry “Legend” was arguably the greatest shooter in the history of the NBA (until Steph Curry), but what really set him apart from all other players was his luxurious golden locks. The mullet-iest of all mullets, he’s a Hall of Famer in both hoops and ’70s and ’80s dad style.

5/10

Kurt Rambis

Kurt Rambis

The black-rimmed, Revenge Of The Nerds glasses only add to the mystique of the goofiest white guy to ever set foot on an NBA floor, Kurt Rambis. His game mimicked his style: wild and crazy, with just enough annoyance to get your blood pumping.

6/10

Bill Walton

Bill Walton

Bill Walton was the only NBA player in history that looked like an extra from Teen Wolf. He’s real-life proof that Sasquatch is not only real, but he can rebound and start a fast break like a maniac.

7/10

Vladimir Radmanović

Vladimir Radmanović

Vlad went with the “just came back from spring break in Jamaica” look, leading to his eventual trade from Seattle. Did the haircut cause the trade? There’s no evidence to prove that it didn’t.

8/10

Joakim Noah

Joakim Noah

To his credit, he was the pioneer of man-bunning in the NBA, though we’re not sure if that’s a good thing.

9/10

Dennis Rodman

Dennis Rodman

“The Worm” had an abundance of questionable hairstyles to coincide with his insane taste in clothes, friends, and wedding dresses. There will never be another quite like Dennis Rodman.

10/10

Michael Beasley

Michael Beasley

Beasley was an incredible talent coming out Kansas State. Expectations were sky high and so was he for much of his career. As his game roller-coasted up and down, so did his hair styles…and employment.

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The Leonardo DiCaprio Guide To Getting An Oscar For Brad Pitt This Year

With a Ph.D. in luxurious badassery, Leonardo DiCaprio is a true Hollywood prophet whose tales of million-dollar sushi, drugs unavailable to the general public, and the black market vintage toy underground would pique any man-bunned enthusiast’s interest. Leo’s expertise knows no boundaries, but for Brad Pitt‘s needs, the most valuable asset is revealing that mysterious head-in-a-box that has eluded Tyler Durden for decades, an Academy Award for Best Actor.

The two A-list celebrities have similar career trajectories, both starting in TV and small film roles leading to a never-ending cascade of love and adoration from audiences around the world. But somehow during years of partying, drugs, women, Italian vacations, and a personal support group that inspired HBO’s Entourage, Leo somehow managed to acquire the one man that proved unattainable in his past.

That man’s name is Oscar, and with Leo’s guidance, Brad may be ready to meet him. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how he can win that coveted gold statue.

Brad’s Pitt: The Leonardo DiCaprio Guide To Getting An Oscar For Brad Pitt This Year

Ouch: The Best Oscars Moments the Academy Would Love to Forget

Fast Food Paired With Craft Beer Will Take Your Tastebuds Someplace New

After a slew of debaucherous activities, you’re on the hunt for the perfect combination of trashy fast food and an ice cold beer. It’s no secret craft beer can elevate any meal when constructed properly, even if it’s drive-thru you’re shoving down your gullet.

The challenge is to take convenient, cheap food and kick it up a few notches with quality hops. That greasy, half-cooked cheeseburger is going to taste a hell of a lot better when paired with a delicious craft beer. Because let’s face it: You’re cheap and or broke and you want the best of all worlds, but it’s easier to drink well than pay for quality dining at 2 AM.

Have a look at our fast food-craft beer pairing guide below for living right (and affordably).

Beer And Burger Diet: Fast Food Paired With Craft Beer That’ll Make You Go Yum

Nothing is impossible: The Only 9 Fast Food Combos More Impossible Than ‘Impossible Whopper’

18 ‘Game Of Thrones’ GIFs For People Who Don’t Get It

The immensely popular HBO television series Game of Thrones is just as confusing as it is entertaining. Unless you’re a super-duper fan, chances are you can’t even consistently name the characters involved in whatever sexually-charged, dragon-queen scene you’re watching at the moment.

Ranked: The Most Satisfying ‘Game of Thrones’ Deaths

But don’t worry, we’ll give you the overall GOT basics covering the good, bad, disgusting and even more disgusting. At the very least you’ll be able to sound like you mildly know what you’re talking about the next time someone at a party asks you who Jon Snow’s real parents are.

These 18 informative GIFs will ensure you’re ruling the seven kingdoms and defeating the White Walkers like a boss in no time! Maybe you’ll even be motivated to read the books.

Read This Now Or Die: GOT Gifs That Will Make You Understand

Party Tricks: The Cheapest Ways To Stock Your Bar Before the Festivities

Don Draper, Sam Malone, and Mo from The Simpsons; what do all these leading men have in common? In addition to offensive vocabulary and a square jaw, all three luminaries have the uncanny ability to finesse a sophisticated cocktail out of thin air quicker than Dwayne Johnson releases movies about world-ending catastrophes. While we can’t all be iconic debutants of style and class all the time, becoming the Lothario of liquors with an exceptional home bar is attainable and even affordable.

A well-maintained alcohol armory can provide endless opportunities to impress friends, enrage frenemies, and even gain the attention of that attractive new neighbor. The main key to any home bar is to start with what you typically drink, as long as it’s not Zima, and then build from there.

Here are some options that won’t break the bank and send you back to two-buck Chuck.

Easy drinking: How To Stock Your Bar

The Electric Age of Anarchy: 14 Funny Freak-Outs From Angry E-Scooter Nonconformists

Are pedals for peasants? Is walking obsolete?

E-scooters are spreading throughout the world with an infection rate that could surpass the Kardashians. If you’re lucky enough to reside in one of the 100+ opportunistic cities trading cheap convenience for head trauma by way of electric scooter, then you’ve already grown accustomed to the millennial generation’s response to walking.

Lyft, Uber and various other smaller entities jumped to develop their own versions of the nerdy Hell’s Angels transportation options faster than Dwayne Johnson signs on for a ‘Fast & Furious’ reboot. With a low price-point and high-level convenience (drop it when you’re done), the popularity has pushed these epidemic entrepreneurs to expand.

Electric Scooters: Tyranny On Two Wheels Or Cool New Form Of Transportation?

Love ’em or hate ’em, electric trash is littering city sidewalks everywhere, and true to our culture’s form, the negative reaction to these misfit toys has become binge-worthy and Instagrammable.

Have a look at some of our favorite fails of the electric scooter epidemic, then decide which side you’re on. We side with sanity and against litterbugs. At least it’s probably never been cheaper to buy a motorcycle.

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@_tra_will_change_the_world

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Oof

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much scooters. such problem.

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Bodi

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Russell Westbrook Is Underrated

I think it’s time.

It’s time we set aside our differences and bring this nation together, no more divide and conquer, no more pointless name-calling. We all need to agree that Russell Westbrook is the most dynamic player we’ve seen in recent NBA history.

Don’t get me wrong, Lebron is the second best overall player EVER, and is a physical specimen with the unrealistic career longevity of 1,000-year-old king tortoise.

NBA’s Worst: Tristan Thompson – The Kevin Federline Of The NBA

But, Westbrook is the most untenable in-game matchup problem in the league and has been that way since he set foot on the court – opposing coaches and players have ZERO chance to keep him in check.

Proof: Westbrook has averaged a triple-double for three straight seasons.

Let that sit in for a moment….go ahead, I’ll wait.

He’s the first player since Oscar Robertson to average a triple-double for an entire season, and Brodie (Russ) has now reached the dubious honor three seasons in a row. Only four seasons in NBA HISTORY have ended with a player averaging a triple-double, count ’em up, rack ’em up – Russ has three out of those four to himself.

RANDOM STATS: Oscar Robertson (Cincinnati Royals), during the 1961–62 season, averaged 30.8 points, 12.5 rebounds, and 11.4 assists per game. Over the last three seasons, Russ has averaged 26.6 ppg, 10.5 apg, and 10.6 rpg on 43% from the field.

The eight-time All-Star hit another major individual career achievement on April 2nd, becoming just the second player in NBA history to have at least 20 points, 20 rebounds and 20 assists in a single game. Wilt Chamberlain is the only other player to have a 20-20-20 game.

Chamberlain was a 7-footer in an era where 7-footers barely existed in all of humanity – he was literally (not literally) the first 7-foot player to be able to run, jump and chew gum at the same time. Wilt was the equivalent of the kid who hit his growth spurt before anyone else had hair in their special places. You know, that kid who was 6’1″ at age 12, with a deep voice and pimply-faced cheeks – while everyone else was 5’1″ and sounded like a flute.

Westbrook’s fiery demeanor and no bull-shit attitude is something that’s lacking in today’s NBA, we should be celebrating his game and appreciating every moment before it’s too late. We’ll never see a player like him again.

Tristan Thompson – The Kevin Federline Of The NBA

Tristan Thompson….

Khloe Kardashian’s boyfriend Cleveland Cavaliers’ TMZ-walking hard-on, has reportedly cheated on his baby mama, yet again. This time, it was with a lady named Jordyn Woods, who is the best friend offffffffff – Khloe’s younger sister Kylie Jenner. It’s an atrocious dumpster fire of a reality show that I’d never actually watch, but I can’t help but ask the question – WHY TRISTAN THOMPSON?!?!

What is it about this 13th-offensive option on the Cavs that all these Kardashian flunkeys start fanning themselves with hundred dollar bills and instinctively flock to his nether-regions like the salmon of cock-istrano!?!?

If this sounds like a bad (insert any rapper with a “lil” in their name) song on constant repeat, that’s because Tristan Thompson, AKA Kanye’s future brother-in-law, reportedly cheated on Khloe while she was pregnant with their daughter last year.

In true Federline enigma status, the concept of Thompson being the most sought-after man in Cleveland is absolutely mind-boggling. Scientists will no doubt ponder and study this universe-bending exploration of unbalanced checks and balances for years and years, with no viable conclusion.

Kinda like Big Foot.


You’d think these ladies would occasionally check out a game or a stat sheet or perhaps watch a second of ESPN before they went fishing for “Richard”. At the very least go for a fella with a decent PER (Thompson 18.69), John Hollinger should create an analytical NBA rankings-based dating app to make it easier for everyone involved.

He could call it “Hook-Shot” or “Diamond & One” or maybe “One & Done”.

*Just for reference, Joakim Noah (yes, he’s still on a roster), Ivica Zubac (huh?), Jakob Poeltl (huh?), and Ivan Raab (ummm?) all have higher PERs than Mr. Thompson-Kardashian.

I can’t even begin to imagine the horror that this Jordyn Woods person is dealing with currently. Putting a relationship with her billionaire best friend on the chopping block for a piece of Tristan’s Thompson (see what I did there?) is like chopping off your finger when cutting open the fish stick freezer bag – it’s just not worth it.

I’ll never understand women.

9.2 ppg – 8.6 rpg – 0.7 bpg