Say it aint so

ALLEGEDLY, as posted by several blogs and websites today, Allen Iverson was spotted begging for change outside of Lenox Mall in Atlanta, GA.

“I don’t even have money for a cheeseburger,” said Iverson.

hamburgler

(but probably he didn’t really say that, cause this can’t be true)

All jokes aside, if this is true I am at a loss for words.  I doubt very much it is true, but let’s talk about it anyway.

–Allen Iverson fell on hard times when his basketball career abruptly ended. Though the 76ers legend is currently bankrupt, he does have a $30 million trust with Reebok, which he cannot access until he is 55-years-old.

–Over his NBA career, Iverson made over $154.5 million in salary. The 39-year-old also racked up quite a bit of income in endorsements, bringing his income to over $200 million.

–Iverson blew through his money at an alarming rate on gaudy jewelry, expensive cars, and other frivolous purchases. In 2012, a Georgia judge garnished his wages to satisfy a $859,896.46 debt to a jeweler.

Are you telling me that “the answer” doesn’t have any more answers??  How do you run through $200 million!?!?

allen-iverson-foreclosure-straightfromthea-e1354519665967

Allen Iverson was one of the greatest scorers in the NBA’s history, and probably the best under-6ft player EVER on earth.

Career:

24,368 points, 1,983 steals, 5,624 assists.

26.7 ppg, 6.2 ast, 2.2 stl, .313 3P%, .425 FG%, 41.4 mp.

901 games started out of 914 games played.

A.I. averaged over 30 ppg five times in his HOF career, he averaged over 25 ppg eleven times.

The 9-time all-star played in the NBA for 14 seasons on 4 different teams.  He recently in 2011 ended his professional career in Turkey playing for Beşiktaş (Turkey).

According to some reports, after being kicked off the sidewalk at the mall, Iverson said to a reporter that he hoped to be back involved with the Philadelphia 76ers organization very soon in a front office role.

I can’t imagine it will have anything to do with the budget or salary cap space.

Athletic Prowess Fueled by Nicotine

I’ve always loved seeing photos of powerful leaders and athletes doing stupid stuff, maybe it’s my morbid sense of humor, but I find that shit hilarious. So here you go, a quick glimpse of what I find funny.

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MJ smoking a cigar on a golf course. A very common scene.

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Another easy one, MJ smoking a cigar to celebrate his second 3-peat with the Bulls

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Kevin Durant getting his Hookah-jumper on point.

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Phelps-smoking-Pot-michael-phelps-3933025-726-1090

The pic that landed Michael Phelps the Subway commercials.

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The pic that landed Arnold the presidency. Arnold beat the Predator, saved the human race from extinction by killer androids, taught kindergarten, banged his house-maid, AND he was the first man to give birth……don’t challenge him (best t-shirt ever, “Arnold is numero uno”).

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stephon-marbury-smoking-weed-photo

And as long as we’re talking about people who are past their prime, how about Steph Marbury?

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AnnaKournikova

Somehow this just makes her hotter?

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TatianaGolovin

Not sure who she is, but I’d let her smoke……(insert penis joke).

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Just seeing if you’re paying attention on the sidelines.

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This next section begins a rabbit-hole into the depths of internet research, apparently every baseball player and golfer EVER smoked at some point. Especially during my favorite time in sports history, the “Mad Men” era of professional sports.

palmer-nicklaus

Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus

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Ben_Hogan_and_Arnold_Palmer_Smoking

Ben Hogan, Arnold Palmer

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john-daly-belly-smoking-cigarette

John Daily, being awesome.

Daly

Actually, we could do a whole John Daily “being awesome” section……

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John Daily is probably the coolest golfer ever.

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DustinJohnson

Dustin Johnson

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Angel-Cabrera

Angel Cabrera

Just because.

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Baseball seems to be a sport that yields downtime and lungs filled with cancer as well……

arod smoking a cigar

Alex Rodriguez

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Jim Leyland

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Keith Hernandez (Did you say Keith Hernandez!?!?)

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mickey-mantle-smoking baseball62

Homeruns+cigarettes=Hall of Fame

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RonWashington

Ron Washington

baseball smoking

Pittsburgh booty-Pirates

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Hank Aaron sitting in locker room

Yup, that’s Hank A-A-Ron*

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SparkyAnderson

I don’t always manage baseball, but when I do, I make sure my face matches my first-base mit.

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SportsIllustrated

Sports Illustrated hit a homerun with this cover. “Dick” Allen “Juggles” his image while “juggling” his balls and smoking a cigarette.

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dykstra-tobacco LennyDykstra

It may not be cigarettes, but Lenny Dykstra gives NONE fucks what you think.

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and the Piece de resistance…..President Obama lighting up for peace.

*footnote: “A-A-Ron” refers to one of the greatest sketches in sketch comedy:

 

Under Armour Messes Up Another Uniform; Nike Does Not.

Notre Dame revealed their new football uniforms for the upcoming season today. Being that the teams for the school are now being fitted by Under Armour (in what is the richest apparel contract in college sports), I wasn’t expecting much, and alas, I didn’t get much. Thankfully, they kept the home and away unis in their classic look.

Notre Dame Home Notre Dame Away

Where they go wrong is with their “Shamrock Series” alternate uniform. I guess I probably would not have a problem with this outfit if it weren’t for the helmet. Under Armour decided to spoil this pristine helmet by adding the interlocking “ND” to the sides.

Notre Dame Shamrock Series Uni

As the saying goes, “one bad apple spoils the bunch,” I say one bad helmet spoils the uni. They did add a nice under shirt to the uniform…

Notre Dame Under

…if you were taking part in The Crusades!

 

On the other hand, job well done Nike. The Arizona State “Desert Fuel” uniform was revealed yesterday. This uniform pays tribute to the copper history of Arizona, by adding copper to the color scheme of the anthracite alternate. Adidas and Under Armour take note: this is how you make a uniform.

Arizona State Desert Fuel Arizona State Copper Helmet

Jared Lorenzen is still HUGE

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The “kid” on the right is incoming Kentucky Freshman, Matt Elam.  Elam weighs in at a solid 6’5″, 350-375lbs. depending on what freeway weigh-station he is transporting goods to and from.

READ THAT AGAIN.  6’5″, 375lbs is the SMEDIUM version of Jared Lorenzen.

In other news, several NFL teams need a starting QB right now.  I bet I can get Lorenzen’s cell # for you.

Or maybe just start grilling up some BBQ turkey legs and fry up some twinkies, Jared will come running.  The smoke from the fryer will act as a Fat-Bat-signal.