NFL poll: weed the same as alcohol

When Obama said he believes that marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol, apparently the NFL players heard him loud and clear.

In a recent poll done by ESPN, over 100 NFL players were asked if they agree with President Obama’s statements concerning marijuana.  According to the poll, 75 of the 82 players that answered the question voted in agreement with Obama.  Unfortunately the NFL’s substance abuse policy must not have been drafted by anyone listening to the Commander and Chief in January.

  • The NFL’s substance abuse policy calls for players who test positive for marijuana to enter the league’s drug program (probation).
  • The 2nd-time offenders go to Stage 2 of the program (double secret probation), where another positive test results in a four-game suspension.
  • Strike 3 and above gets a little hazy, or cloudy, or blurry…..pick an adjective.  The 32-page policy on repeat offenders states that punishment will become more severe after the 2nd time (double-double secret probation?).

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Essentially the players polled have said they do not believe the punishment meets the crime when it comes to marijuana, especially in the light of the Ray Rice decision that recently surfaced.

The NFL will have you believe that comparing Ray Rice’s offense and a player who repeatedly breaks the league’s substance abuse policy (Josh Gordon) is like comparing apples and oranges when it comes to punishment handed out.  Just to be clear, Ray Rice knocked his fiancee out with his fist in an Atlantic City casino.  Josh Gordon just smokes too much weed.

Ray Rice got a two game suspension, Josh Gordon was dealt a calender-year suspension for failing multiple drug tests.  Mike Preifer, the Special Teams coach for the Minnesota Vikings was suspended three games this season for his homophobic slurs towards a player on his own team.

So to ridiculously connect the dots (humor is the best medicine right?):

1)  Ray Rice would have to knock out 8 women in a casino in Atlantic City before he’d receive the same suspension as Josh Gordon.

2)  Ray Rice would have had to call his fiancee some kind of racial or homophobic slur WHILE punching her in order to receive the same punishment as Coach Mike Preifer.

Is the substance abuse policy department at the NFL actually the NCAA rules committee?

They seem to be working along the same guidelines, making it up as they go, like a freestyle-walking, parkor-ing, 12 year old in a park littered with benches.

By the way, did I mention that the 2014 Superbowl included two teams who reside in states where recreational marijuana IS legal?

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Maybe Next Year Josh

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As of this morning, Josh Gordon, of the Cleveland Browns, has been suspended for the entire NFL season. This is Gordon’s second suspension due to smoking marijuana. Last season, Gordon was suspended the first two games for a failed drug test. Prior to that, he was also suspended in college for a failed drug test. After a year in which he broke the Browns’ receiving yards in a season record and lead the league in blunts smoked receiving yards, what comes next for him? Does he go the route of former player Ricky Williams and declare an early retirement to blaze bowls, all the while claiming to study holistic medicine? Or does he sober up and come back ready to play next year? We will just have to wait and see, one drug test at a time.

Fantasy Football team names you may not have heard 2014

(no particular order)

FINAL DEZ-TINATION

Since Dez Bryant IS basically a video-game version of a WR, here are Dez Bryant Madden highlights:

MANZIEL IN DISTRESS

Johnny Clipboard is gonna be stressed and under distress all season in Cleveland, on and off the field………when do the Cavs start preseason practice?

IT’S ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATKINS

Sammy Watkins is fast.  Really, really fast.  Too bad he’s in Buffalo, where it’s cold.  Really, really cold.

PARTY LIKE A GRONK STAR

I love Gronk, yup I said it.  He’s a big dumb animal, and it’s awesome.  He’s also a hell of a TE (when he’s healthy).

1.21 JJ WATT

Combining two of my favorite things, an effective pass rushing/pass deflecting, nose-always-broken and bleeding Defensive End and “Back to the Future”.

TURN DOWN FOR WATT!!

Lil Jon featuring JJ Watt.  I needed a second dose of JJ Watt for some reason.

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98 DeBREES

A little dated with the Nick Lachey boy-band reference, but still a fan-favorite.

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I’LL HAVE WHAT SHE’S CALVIN

A good movie reference never hurt anyone when it comes to fantasy football team names.  You think Calvin Johnson has seen “When Harry Met Sally”?

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WES

Again, movie reference and a solid slot-WR pun works every time.

POUR ME A BLACK & TANNEHILL

Alcohol and QBs go hand-n-hand like peanut butter & bananas.

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Good work Ryan Tennehill, well done sir.