The NBA All-Knucklehead Team 2014-2015 Preview

Before the official NBA preview 2014-2015 edition becomes public, I thought I’d have some fun with this year’s version of the Island of Misfit Toys otherwise known as the Anti-All-Star Preview for the 2014-2015 season.  The starting five that no sane fan would really want on their favorite team.  They combine a rare cornucopia of wasted natural ability, ego-driven and head-scratching talent with a complete lack of coach-ability.

Starting Five:

1.  J.R. Smith

2.  Josh Smith

3.  Javelle McGee

4.  Michael Beasley

5.  DeMarcus Cousins

 

Honerable Mention:

Andray Blatche (he’s playing in China right now cause no NBA team wanted him)

 

written by: Casey S. Gutting

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I missed you NBA

Keep an eye out for James Ennis, small forward for the Miami Heat.  You may not have heard of him yet, so let me introduce you:

My initial reaction was, “Wow, Rasual Butler is STILL in the NBA?”.  Followed by, “Who the hell is James Ennis?”.

The Long Beach State graduate (2013) was an AP All-American Honorable Mention Selection his senior season, averaging 16.5 points and 6.7 rebounds per game while leading the 49ers to regular season Big West championship. At the end of the 2012-2013 season, Ennis was named Big West Player of the Year.  After two seasons playing professional in Australia and Puerto Rico, he landed on the Miami Heat roster for 2014-2015.

The Only Time (non-Lakers fans) Root For Kobe

In last night’s NBA season opener between the Houston Rockets (Dwight Howard) and the Los Angeles Lakers (Black Mamba), everyone on TNT was reminded why Dwight Howard didn’t make it in LA:

Kobe proceeds (while the replay referees fumble all over themselves replaying god-knows-what) to very clearly yell to Dwight, “Soft!”.

With the crowd chanting “KOBE, KOBE, KOBE”, I’m sure Dwight Howard was wishing he was still in the off-season, lounging in his oversized banana-hammock surrounded by Yes-Men telling him how great he is……even though Dwight would NEVER admit it.  He decided to throw a weak elbow instead.

I’m NOT a Lakers (or Kobe) apologist by any means, but I’m on Kobe’s side with this one.  Dwight Howard IS soft, WAS soft and will always be SOFT.  He wears the persona of being a big, strong, physical tough-guy, but the reality is that he wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight.

If he wasn’t a god-given physical specimen, he’d be teaching Kindergarten kids how to crayon-color within the lines…..or serving my kids french fries from the drive-in on our way to a skiing trip.

Tomorrow I’ll go back to rooting against Kobe and the Lakers, but for now I’m with ya Black Mamba.

The Greatest Game You Never Saw

The greatest/closest thing to a real-life video game I’ve ever seen in my life was the 1992 Olympic “Dream Team”.  The best team that has EVER been assembled across the board, top to bottom, inside and out.  There has never been a better team in any sport.  There has never been anything like it on earth since.

Just to refresh:

1)  The US team won by an average margin of 43 points per game on it’s way to the Gold Medal.

2)  The players signed autographs for the opposing teams before, after and even during the games.

3)  This roster was so good……..HOW GOOD WAS IT??

This roster was so good, that the 2-time college player of the year (Christian Laettner) was the worst player on the team and barely saw the floor (take that Dukies).

1992-NBA-Dream-Team 4)  Charles Barkley kicked a guy in the chest after he dunked on him.

The Dream Team was basketball played at it’s highest possible level, combining the greatest athletes in the world with the greatest coaches in the world.  The other countries didn’t stand a chance.  I watched every minute of the 1992 Olympic basketball games, but I missed the best game ever played:

 

 

written by: Casey S. Gutting

Dancing with the NFL Stars

This is becoming an epidemic folks, celebrations that end up being worse than Michael Waltrip on “Dancing With The Stars”.

Exhibit A:

Colt McCoy

Colt McCoy goes down!!!

Colt McCoy goes down!!!

Exhibit B:

Stephen Tulloch (he tore his ACL celebrating and is out for the year)

Exhibit C:

Lamarr Houston doing his best Stephen Tulloch impression

The NFL has a serious problem, maybe they should consult Alfonso Ribeiro?

Quick Picks

The battle for degenerate gambling king reigns on, here are your picks for this week.  Happy hunting.

Casey G.’s Picks

NFL GAMES

BEARS/PATRIOTS

Taking New England -6 @ Home over Chicago

The Pats are getting up and down the field faster than a pimp on MLK Blvd. on the first of the month.  TFB has found his groove throwing for 9 TDs, almost 1,000 yds (914) and completing 64% of his passes in the past 3 games.  Meanwhile Chicago is a train wreck. 

What time do we play on Sunday?

What time do we play on Sunday?

BILLS/JETS

Taking Buffalo away +3 over NY/NJ/Poop-Town

This game has terrible dripping off an ugly pile of doo-doo butter written all over it.  The Jets are bad news, even with the weird mid-season addition of Percy Harvin (NY still has no QB to get him the rock).  I don’t know how to “root” for anyone in this game, can both teams lose?

TEXANS/TITANS

Taking Houston away -3.5 over Tennessee

Houston is starting to figure out how to be relevant offensively:  GIVE ARIAN FOSTER THE BALL.  Foster has gained 368 yds and scored 4 TDs on 63 carries over the past 3 games=keep feeding him the rock.  Even though the Texans have lost the last 3 games, they’ve been very close 1-score games that could’ve gone either way.  Houston will arrest the development on Sunday in Tennessee.

REDSKINS/COWBOYS

Taking Dallas @ home -10 over Washington

I know this seems like a big line, but I smell BS on this one.  HUGE bunch of booty on this horse.  We got Dallas at home riding the DeMarco Murray train at a smooth 88 mph, smashing all space-time continuums in it’s path.

Washington is moving downhill with the speed of a mac-truck on a track of Vaseline.  Did I mention the Redskins are starting Colt McCoy at QB this week??

NCAA GAME

COWBOYS/RAMS

Taking my CSU Rams @ home -19 over the poop-n-pee uniformed boys to the north

CSU is 6-1 and coming off two GREAT wins at Nevada and at home against Utah St.  The Rams are close to breaking into the top 25 and are moving towards the best post-Sonny Lubick season in school history.

T.L. Graham’s Weekly Picks

 NCAA GAMES

Clemson (-14.5) over Syracuse:

South Carolina (+19.5) Over Auburn

Virginia (-6.5) Over North Carolina

 NFL GAMES

Baltimore (-1) over Cincinnati:

Houston (-3) over Tennessee

Jerry Jones……still old and creepy

Dallas Cowboy fans can breath easy now, the lawsuit that had been filed against Jerry Jones by “former stripper” (yeah ok), Jana Weckerly, has now been officially dismissed.

Jana Weckerly had been seeking more than $1 million in damages from Jones and the Cowboys after an alleged incident at a Dallas hotel in 2009.

stay classy Jerry Jones

stay classy Jerry Jones

article-2717451-204BBD2000000578-558_634x512Photos surfaced over the summer of Jones posing in what some would call an “upward dog” (not a yoga term), but he said the pictures were a “misrepresentation” of what happened.

If “misrepresentation” means (assumed) drunken, Winnie The Pooh costumed,  women in sexual poses while Jerry Football creepy-uncle-stares into the camera, then yes……I would say the photos were a “misrepresentation” of what happened.

shirt, NO PANTS party

It’ a NO PANTS PARTY!

Attorneys for Jones had argued that the suit should be dismissed because the Oklahoma woman waited too long to file it. The suit accused Jones of grabbing Weckerly’s genitals and kissing her without her consent.

She also accused Jones and the Dallas Cowboys front office of conspiring to keep her quiet by paying her hush money for at least four years.

But all is good for Dallas fans, Romo has them tied for first place in the NFC East at 5-1, soooooooo everything’s cool right??

The man, the myth, the legend is still doin it

If you were alive and playing basketball in the mid to late-90s, then you were a Jason Williams fan.

NOT this Jason Williams:

He kinda murdered a Limo driver and spells his name Jayson Williams

He kinda murdered a Limo driver and spells his name Jayson Williams

and unless you’re a Dukie, NOT this Jason Williams either:

Now goes by Jay Williams and is on ESPN a lot during college hoops season.

Now goes by Jay Williams and is on ESPN a lot during college hoops season.

I’m talking about THIS Jason Williams: 

I picked this photo cause Todd MacCulloch was hilarious.

I picked this photo cause Todd MacCulloch was hilarious.

“White Chocolate” was his given hoops-nickname, making defenders crumble with broken ankles was his game.

Jason Williams took the NBA by storm in 1998 after being drafted 7th overall by the Sacramento Kings.  Williams had a storied, but somewhat checkered past from his collegiate days at Marshall University and then The University of Florida, being suspended 3 times for marijuana use.

As the starting PG for Billy Donovan’s Florida Gators, he averaged 17.1 points, 6.7 assists and 2.8 steals per game, and led the Gators to an 86–78 upset of the National Champion-Runner-Up, University of Kentucky Wildcats.  But, he was then suspended for the remainder of the season after his third positive test for marijuana.

Williams decided to forgo his last year of eligibility, and enter the NBA draft after that season.  And then “White Chocolate” was born.

 

Williams was the closest thing we’d seen to “Pistol” Pete Maravich in a time when the NBA needed a personality and  a pass-first, playground-style team to remind us why we loved this game so much.

“Jay-Dubb” lead a reassurance to relevancy in Sacramento along with the likes of Chris Webber, Peja Stojakavic, Vlade Divac and Corliss Williamson.  The Kings made the playoffs all three seasons Williams was there, including the Western Conference Semi-Finals two years in a row.

And now even at 38 years of age, Jason Williams is STILL making defenders look silly (although just in a Summer Pro-AM).

He STILL gives hope to every undersized, floppy-haired, clear-skinned Point Guard in the world.