Kobe states the obvious

Kobe was apparently the last one to know that he doesn’t have any friends.  Maybe it just took him a while to see in himself what seemingly EVERYONE else on earth could’ve already told him.

In a recent GQ interview, Kobe admits to his inability of actually being a human-being, while still smirking like a robot created in a basketball laboratory.  The true sign of a sociopathic basketball savant in Kobe’s own words:

So how much are you willing to give up? Have you given up the possibility of having friends? Do you have any friends?

I have “like minds.” You know, I’ve been fortunate to play in Los Angeles, where there are a lot of people like me. Actors. Musicians. Businessmen. Obsessives. People who feel like God put them on earth to do whatever it is that they do. Now, do we have time to build great relationships? Do we have time to build great friendships? No. Do we have time to socialize and to hangout aimlessly? No. Do we want to do that? No.We want to work. I enjoy working.

So is this a choice? Are you actively choosing not to have friends?

Well, yes and no. I have friends. But being a “great friend” is something I will never be. I can be a good friend. But not a great friend. A great friend will call you every day and remember your birthday. I’ll get so wrapped up in my shit, I’ll never remember that stuff. And the people who are my friends understand this, and they’re usually the same way. You gravitate toward people who are like you. But the kind of relationships you see in movies—that’s impossible for me. I have good relationships with players around the league. LeBron and I will text every now and then. KG and I will text every now and then. But in terms of having one of those great, bonding friendships—that’s something I will probably never have. And it’s not some smug thing. It’s a weakness. It’s a weakness.

Kobe is the Rain Man of basketball, completely inept at any normal human interaction outside of basketball due to his own lack of social skills and/or interest in anything except counting jump-shots (toothpicks on the floor) or watching game film analyzing his every movement (watching Wheel of Fortune).

I feel bad for his wife and kids after he’s done playing basketball, if he can’t see himself having any sort of “great” relationship now, what’s gonna happen when his most important thing in life (basketball) is gone?  The robot may malfunction.

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Happy Birthday Michael Jordan

Today the greatest basketball player EVER turns 52, and I officially feel old.

Like most kids that grew up in the 80s and 90s, His Airness was my idol.  EVERY kid wanted to be him, every kid pretended they WERE HIM when they got on the blacktop at their school’s recess or in the driveway.

I remember sticking out my tongue as I drove the lane on my driveway hoop, catching god-knows-what in my mouth as I attempted a ridiculous, spinning, dipsy-do, reverse layup between my best buddies’ outstretched arms all while yelling out “Jordan” when I took the shot.  Most of the time I missed, but that wasn’t the point.

Jordan created COOL when he got in the league, he WAS the closest physical representation of Miles Davis’ BIRTH OF COOL album; calm, cool, melodic and aggressive at the same time and undeniably brilliant.

This dude wore GOLD CHAINS in the dunk contest his rookie year, JUST CAUSE HE COULD.

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MJ walked cool, talked cool, jumped cool, and the way he effortlessly flew through the air like an F-16 was truly a vision of beauty.

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Jordan was so good and so popular that kids in driveways in my neighborhood made a rule that “no one can be MJ” when we played basketball.  I’m not talking about in the form of video games, I’m talking about in REAL LIFE when we played pick-up in the driveway, NO ONE was allowed to pretend to be MJ, out of fear that somehow just by saying his name like the “Candyman”, your game would be elevated instantly and no one would be able to guard you.

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There will never be another like him, he transcended sports to a level that will NEVER be seen again.

Happy birthday to my favorite player of all time, Michael “Air” Jordan, forever Chicago Bulls #23 will be hanging in the rafters in my head and my heart.

MJ Transcending Sports Culture:

MJ’s Top Dunks of All-Time:

MJ’s Top Ten Plays/Performances of All-Time:

Here’s a quick picture gallery of MJ throughout the years just to get you through the day:

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