Top Five Sports Films of All-Time

In no official order, here’s my all-time Top Five Sports Films:

  • Bull Durham

Too many classic lines from this movie to even list, “Announce my presence with authority”.

“(Coach) Ya lolly-gag around the infield, ya lolly-gag your way down to first, ya lolly-gag in and out of the dugout, Do you know what that makes you?……..Larry…………..(Larry) Lolly-gaggers.”

“(Coach) What’s our record Larry?  (Larry) Eight and sixteen.  (Coach) Eight and sixteen…….how’d we ever win eight?  (Larry) It’s a miracle.  (Coach) It’s a miracle.”

While meeting at the mound during a game:  “(Crash) Well, Nuke’s scared cause his eyelids are jammed and his old man is here….we need a live roo, was it a live rooster?  We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose’s glove and nobody seems to know what to give Milly or Jimmy for their wedding present…that about right?  We’re dealing with a lot of shit.  (Larry) OK, well uh, candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she’s registered, maybe a place-setting or silverware pattern is good.”

I could ask 20 guys what their favorite line from Bull Durham is and I’d get 20 different answers.

  • Field of Dreams

(No, I’m not in love with Kevin Costner)  Field of Dreams sums up every man’s caveman desire to create something magical and wonderful that will change the world forever while also impressing a girls……and playing catch with your Dad.  I will at some point in my life, build a baseball field in my backyard, hire local community theater-actors to play various roles from the film and play catch with a cardboard cut-out of Ray Liotta.  Although by the time this all happens, maybe Ray will be looking for that kind of work and get him for a cheap day-rate.

  • Hoosiers

Jimmy Chitwood has MAYBE four total lines in the whole movie, but they are by far the most memorable lines in the entire film.  “I’ll make it” makes my skin tingly from head to toe and my inner-twelve year-old innocence, blind belief in something good and overall hope for the future ooze out of my 30-something grinning idiot face right now as I posted that video.

  • Caddyshack

EVERY TIME I go golfing for the rest of my life, I will say “nanananananananananananananah” while putting on the practice green.  I also tend to find myself singing: “I was born to love you / I was born to lick your face / I was born to rub you / but you were born to rub me first” at least once a week while standing in an elevator by myself.  Oh, and by the way, your Uncle molests collies.

  • White Men Can’t Jump

I bet you’ve never seen the trailer for this movie until right now have you?

Due to this movie, I’ve literally said on the court, “It is haaard god-damn work being this good.” and “Hey, who you calling a goofy white muthafucker?”  This movie introduced everyone to REAL TRASH TALK on a basketball court.  Something that is sorely LACKING in the world of basketball right now.

Pete Rose is One Step Closer

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“Charlie Hustle” is slowly getting closer to being taken off the MLB black-list.  A few years ago Pete Rose couldn’t set foot inside a MLB stadium, much less take part in any kind of league sponsored event, but things are looking up for the All-Time Major League Leader in Hits (4,256) as he’s received the OK to participate in All-Star Game activities this summer in Cincinnati.

Pete-SlidesRose has been banned from all MLB activities completely since 1989 when he was accused of betting on baseball games that he may have been involved with as a manager of the Cincinnati Reds.

Speaking on behalf of my generation (I can do that apparently), I think reinstatement is an inevitability and honestly I don’t care if he bet on baseball (as long as he wasn’t playing while he did it).

We’ve watched OJ get away with murder (but not stealing memorabilia apparently).

We saw Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa (not to mention Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez etc…) steroid themselves into the record books.

We saw Bobby Knight choke a player during practice, we saw Latrell Sprewell choke his coach, PJ Carlesimo in practice!

We’ve seen Ray Lewis get out of ALL jail-time after allegedly stabbing someone.  We saw Ray Rice beat up his girlfriend on VIDEO!  Adrian Peterson beat the hell out of his kid with a stick!

I mean, comparatively speaking anything Pete Rose did with scumbag bookies in Vegas seems rather juvenile doesn’t it??  The guy has served his penance for something that’s NEVER BEEN PROVEN (in 2004 Rose admitted to betting, but never on his own team/games).