FIFA Scandal is Actually The Series Finale of The Sopranos

If you’ve been buried in a hole the last week and somehow missed the episode of The Sopranos that has been unveiled concerning the President of Everything (that was 3 days ago) and of FIFA soccer, here’s a few quick updates:

Today the FIFA president, Sepp Blatter resigned from his position amidst an Octo-Mom sized laundry list of allegations.  Get it?  She had 8 kids, that’s a lot of laundry.

Josh Margolin with ABC News is reporting today that Sepp Blatter is a target of a giant, multi-continent federal investigation unveiled last week.  The list included the indictment of 14 international soccer leaders and businessmen. Those charges included plot-lines and shady, shiny-suited scumbags that Scorsese and Coppola would’ve drooled over.  These guys hit every single major organized-crime checklist item: racketeering, wire fraud, and money laundering.  And don’t forget what they did to poor Stacks in his own apartment, I mean he never even saw it coming.

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Josh Margolin said it perfectly today when he called into ESPN and spoke with Bob Ley on whether or not this entire situation at FIFA sounded like a mob-structured enterprise:

Well, it certainly looks that way. Our sources are reminding us that this is a case that was investigated and put together by the New York FBI and let’s not forget who the New York FBI is. This is the agency, the group in the FBI, that essentially broke the back of the mafia and they did it through the use of things like racketeering cases and extortion and shakedowns. And this is in many ways, we are being told, this should be read like that.

And as if that wasn’t the exclamation point on the entire conversation today, Bob Ley took it a step further with the drop-the-mic, “Omar” reference:

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Don Stockton is Pure Assist Magic

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The legendary Hall of Famers, John Stockton and his insurance-assist hero twin brother, Don Stockton, are at the top of the assist mountain staring down at the rest of the peons while we scurry around fumbling passes left and right.

Not only is Don Stockton the funniest name for a twin brother of John Stockton imaginable (and yet so simple), but now this fictitious (or is he?) brother’s story will be in full illustrated glory along with the basketball legend, John, via the glorious world of comics (click here).

Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Iron man, Thor, The Hulk and….John & Don Stockton (the assistors?).