This Just In: Karl-Anthony Towns Is Awesome

More than 15,000 fans weathered the cold, blistering, snowy winter……..oh wait it’s summer in Minnesota too right?  Or are they covered in ice and snow-mobile depression year-round like the Dakotas or Canada?

Anyway, over 15,000 ice-skating, parka-wearing, igloo-forming fans showed up to watch the T-Wolves’ first team scrimmage.  The #1 pick in the NBA Draft, Karl-Anthony Towns didn’t let them down:

“It’s amazing to think how passionate our fans are and how blessed I have been to move from one great fan base to another great fan base,” said Towns.

Yeah, we’ll see how “passionate” and “blessed” you all are when you’re 25 games under .500 before the all-star break next season.  But seriously, I’m rooting for ya Karl-Anthony.

Phil Mickelson Pulled a Michael Jordan

In case you’ve been basking in the glory of the US Women’s World Cup ass-whoopin win over Japan while living in a perfect world of fair, uncorrupted competitive sports, prepare to remove your rose-colored glasses.

Here’s a quick update on the sleezy underbelly of the sports world:  In the last few days several reports starting with an ESPN Outside The Lines report, have surfaced about Phil MIckelson’s involvement in a HUGE money laundering and gambling scheme totaling at least $2.75 million out of Mickelson’s own pocket (click here).

Mickelson is golf’s highest paid player currently, taking in an estimated $51 million in 2014 from both tournament prize money and endorsements with companies including Callaway Golf, Barclays, KPMG, Exxon Mobil, Rolex and Amgen.

***Sidenote: He is also very well known to routinely play in big-money side games on the PGA Tour.

In addition to being a big money winner on the course, Mickelson is also remembered for his part of a preseason bet on the Baltimore Ravens as a 22-to-1 shot to win the Super Bowl before the 2000 season.

A+B=C tells us that:

1.  Phil Mickelson is the real-life Tin Cup.  I had no idea that was actually a documentary.

2.  Phil Mickelson will probably be forced to retire for 2 years, he’ll go attempt to play professional baseball and really suck at it, then come back to golf.

3.  Phil Mickelson is the reason the Ravens won the 2000 Super Bowl (that and Ray Lewis’ murder trial charges being dropped).

 

 

DeAndre Jordan: Just Kidding Dallas

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DeAndre Jordan created a giant “do-over” for himself today when he announced he would stay in Los Angeles with the Clippers AFTER he shook hands with Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavs earlier this week.  It was a complete 180-degree, reversal on Jordan’s part that rocked the NBA summer, off-season free agency news.

In addition to the big u-turn that DeAndre took, a mini-twitter battle broke out between ESPN’s Chris Broussard and Mavs owner and “Shark Tank” star-loud-mouth asshole, Mark Cuban.  ESPN’s Broussard tweeted out that Mark Cuban was “beside himself” last night and driving around Houston begging Jordan’s family members for his address so he could talk to him, then Cuban fired back:

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It didn’t end there:

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Yes, this is the biggest thing going on in the NBA in the month of July.  So unless you wanna hear about pre-All-Star game baseball or how 35 year-old Albert Pujols is leading the American league in homeruns (26) and is only one dinger behind the entire MLB leader (and real life baseball superhero)  Giancarlo Stanton (27).