Get ready LA football fans, all signs point to a dual citizenship of NFL teams landing in Carson, CA comprised of the Chargers AND Raiders. No I don’t mean the league is going to combine the two shitty franchises into one, giant mediocre franchise (although that would make more sense).
A group of NFL owners met in Chicago this week to discuss relocation options, basically boiling down to weighing the strengths and weaknesses of each city’s proposals to build new stadiums. From these meetings the order of staying-put as opposed to relocation is fairly clear:
- St. Louis: The state, city, and county have put cards on the table to use public funds covering $500 million of a $1 billion new stadium for the Rams. There’s a proposal that will cover the other $500 million through taxpayer funds. St. Louis seems to be determined to make it work for the Rams in the dirty dirty St. Louis.
- San Diego: Lawmakers have offered to commit $350 million to a $1.1 billion stadium, READ THAT AGAIN. Not even half of what’s needed for the new stadium. The NFL scauffed at that offer , telling The Whale’s Vagina to up the ante or else. San Diego is a second-tier sports town, surfers and entrepreneur-wealthy-young retired people don’t care about anything except the beach and weed.
Oakland: NOTHING. Literally, nothing. Meetings between local politicians and developers who want to build stadiums in Alameda or in the proposed Coliseum City super-hyper-ridiculous-development have gone ABSOLUTELY nowhere. Where you goin?!?!? FAAAHKIN NOWHERE. Actually, looks more like you’re gonna be in Los Angeles.
And to all the Los Anglenos, in case you were wondering who the punkin-pie haircutted freak is that OWNS the Oakland Raiders now, it’s Mark Davis. Son of Al Davis. get cozy with this face:
Such a photogenic family.