Can you smell it? Can you smell the stench of Fantasy Football drafts happening all around you? It can happen in any corner of any office building, in any back room of a bar or any basement of any house, the aroma of beer breath, potato chips, grilled meats, burps and farts, bad jokes and sweaty exhaustion emanate through the airways only to be interrupted by the hacking of computer keys and screams of phrases like:
“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE SO LONG TO MAKE A PICK??”
“HOW’D I GET SET ON AUTODRAFT!?! HOW DO I TURN IT OFF”
“WHY’D YOU TAKE JIMMY GRAHAM SO EARLY!?!?”
With nothing but frustration ahead of us, I thought I’d update on the status of several Running Backs who are currently in a state of Football-Narnia and need some hand-holding.
- Le’Veon Bell
- Le’Veon Bell is suspended for the first two games of the season. But it doesn’t matter, draft him high anyway. He’s going to hit the ground running like a hummingbird on crack (what?).
- Arian Foster
- Arian Foster (the people) is expected to miss anywhere from 3-8 games coming off groin surgery (ouch). I know what you’re thinking, 3-8 games!?!? That’s a long timeline, but it’s hard to say yet what his recovery will be like. If you have the space to draft him and stash him, do it. Second half of the season will be dominated by Foster running the ball, especially considering the Texans will probably be on their third QB by the time he returns.
- CJ Spiller
- Spiller had knee surgery in mid-August, he’s apparently recovering even faster than his 40-time, because multiple reports have said he could be ready for week 1. The Saints plan to use him and abuse him in their wide-open, spread the ball offense. So draft him and hold out hope he’s 100% quickly. He could be huge this season (relatively).
- LeSean McCoy
- Cautiously Optimistic is the term coming out of Buffalo Bills camp. They’re hoping for McCoy to start week 1, and considering they randomly CUT Fred Jackson yesterday morning….I’d say they’re pretty confident that McCoy will be good to go.
- LeGarrette Blount
- LeGarrette was suspended for the opening two games of the season for being caught with too many blunts in his car (see what I did there?). He should come back right in line to be the #1 back for New England in week 3, but keep an eye on what crazy-ass Bill Belichick does in week 1 and 2 with Jonas Gray, James White and Brandon Bolden.
- Ray Rice
- Cleveland seems to be the front-runner in the “who’s in bad enough shape at RB to sign Ray Rice” sweepstakes. Head coach Mike Pettine said, “If we do come to the decision that we need to add a back that is not here, we’ll look at the list of backs that are available.” I mean, he didn’t say no did he????
- Fred Jackson
- Being released from the Bills yesterday morning was completely out of nowhere, anyone who drafted last week and ended up with Freddy shouldn’t worry too much. He’s gonna end up in Seattle, Cleveland or possibly New England very soon. He’s taking a physical with Seattle today, which points to him ending up sharing the load with his old teammate, Marshawn Lynch. Jackson should still be a decent FLEX option with the possibility of sharing duties to give Lynch a break during the regular season.
- Ahmad Bradshaw
- He’s suspended for 1 game this season, but he is currently a free agent. According to rotoworld.com , he’s been medically cleared to play. Why do I feel like he’ll end up New England as a third down, pass-catching back? Keep an eye on him.
- Trent Richardson
- He was just released by the Raiders this morning. Man, what a fall from grace for Richardson in just a few short years after being the #3 overall pick. Where will he end up? Probably nowhere and there’s no reason to think he’ll step into a real role….having said that, I just can’t NOT keep him in the back of my mind for the second half of the season. He’ll get picked up by a desperate team riddled with injuries, return to Cleveland????
Good luck my fellow degenerates, the football gods are shining down upon thee with rays of multiple touchdown days and overachieving garbage-time stats in abundance.