Nate Robinson Released By The Pelicans

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Nate Robinson’s quest to become the NBA’s version of Forest Gump has come to a screeching halt.  After starting at Point Guard for the Pelicans 2015-16 season opener, Nate has now been released.

Although Robinson was once a dynamic scoring-asset off the bench for the New York Knicks a few years ago, he’s struggled to make a consistent impact since undergoing ACL surgery in 2014.

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Top-Five teams that make sense for Robinson (not counting his living room couch):

  1.  New York Knicks
  2. Denver Nuggets
  3. Sacramento Kings
  4. Minnesota T-Wolves
  5. Philadelphia 76ers
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The 49ers Seem Like They’re Really Coming Together As A Team


Report: Vernon Davis And Joe Staley Fought Over Colin Kaepernick

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Like all bad teams eventually do, the San Francisco 49ers have reached the “players-only meeting” stage of their season, and they’re already off to a strong start.

According to CSN Bay Area, the 49ers held a players-only meeting after their Oct. 4 loss to the Green Bay Packers, and at one point it devolved into a confrontation between tight end Vernon Davis and left tackle Joe Staley:

Tight end Vernon Davis called out Kaepernick and left tackle Joe Staley jumped to Kaepernick’s defense, according to multiple sources and first reported by BayAreaSportsGuy.com. The exchange became heated and may have even gotten physical, sources told CSNBayArea.com.

Kaepernick has been terrible this year, but the 49ers’ problems are so myriad that it’s impossible to lay all of the blame on him. Then again, it’s easy to see why Davis would be feeling frustrated—it’s hard to make a living as a pass-catching tight end when your quarterback apparently can’t be trusted to throw it on third down.

 

-originally posted on Deadspin: http://deadspin.com/report-vernon-davis-and-joe-staley-fought-over-colin-k-1739438768

Denver Nuggets Uniforms Continue on a Bad, BAD Trend

We’re not even 1 game into the Denver Nuggets 2015-16 season and they’ve already hit themselves in the dick with a closed fist; just when I thought the Nuggets were finally getting out of the Bad Uniforms trashcan-basement that they’ve been dwelling in for the past 10 years…..they go and do something like this:

When is the NBA going to get AWAY from these rec-league-consolation-prize, stupid-sleeved, game-shirts!?!?

For the sake of not losing my mind completely, I guess let’s ignore the NAME of these alternate home jerseys: “WHITEGOLD-PRIDE”…….sounds a little TOO close to “White Pride” to me.  How does no one else notice these things before it gets released publicly!?!?

The Nuggets will now join the various other unhappy teams in the NBA that are forced to wear these terrible excuses for a professional uniform.  Maybe the uniforms will take the focus off the fact that the front office has successfully knocked out the knees of this franchise ever since they fired George Karl and let Masai Ujiri walk out the door a few years ago?!?!?

The Nuggets were JUST starting to climb out of the NBA dungeon by drafting Emmanuel Mudiay (LOTS of potential) and providing a MUCH NEEDED face-lift aesthetically:

New Alternate Uniforms

New Alternate Home Uniforms

New Alternate Home Uniforms

New Alternate Home Uniforms

2 out of 5 of these players are still in Denver...1 of them has a championship ring now, 1 has a few more DUI's and 1 is NBA-MIA

Only 2 out of 5 of these players are still in Denver…1 of the departed has a championship ring now, 1 has a few more DUI’s than before he left Denver and 1 is NBA-MIA

Now all we can hope for is an outdoor game in a snow-storm while wearing these borderline-racist-named jerseys so we can blend in with the snowflakes and become invisibly, unstoppable.

Waterboy

Dirk Nowitzki, Russell Westbrook and Steven Adams Win Halloween

Halloween brings out the kid slutty nurse in all of us.  Everyone loves a good costume party, especially pro athletes with too much money and preseason time on their hands.

(some of these are from previous years)

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That’s Dirk Nowitzki as “Lurch” from The Addams Family and my goodness that’s a solid interpretation.  Well done Dirk, WELL done.

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There’s Russell Westbrook going as his teammate, Steven Adams.  Very solid.  But wait, that’s also Steven Adams as “The Joker” from the Christian Bale – Batman movie.  Not bad, a bit dated by a couple years…..but not to bad.

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The Spurs’ Tony Parker as “Captain Hook” and Marco Belinelli as “Mario”.

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OKC Thunder’s Serge Ibaka as the prince of Zamunda, “Prince Akeem”.

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The Spurs’ (formerly) Dejuan Blair as Run DMC (probably Darrel/the “D” in DMC) and Manu Ginobili in his usual casual weekend attire a “Zorro” costume.

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The Mavs’ Zaza Pachulia as…who knows what and Chandler Parsons as…Barney Rubble?  Is that Rajon Rondo?  No clue who the army guy is, and Dirk KILLIN it as “Lurch”.

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OKC Thunder’s Nick Collison as “Forest Gump”, Steven Adams being weird, Kevin Durant as the old-school shout-out to Martin Lawrence from “Blue Streak” as the pizza delivery boy.  No clue who the guy from Saw is…..and Westbrook as Steven Adams again.

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More of the same, except Mitch McGary as an “Average Joe” Dodgeball character.

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The Hornets’ PJ Hairston, Cody Zeller and Bismack Biyombo as the TMNT.  Missing Michaelangelo though, I’m assuming he’s eating pizza somewhere.

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The Clippers’ Paul Pierce as the “Winter Soldier” and Wizards’ Marcin Gortat as “Zangief” from Street Fighter.  

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The Wizards’ Otto Porter as a 8-year old wearing a TMNT onesie.

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 The Nets’ Andrei Kirilenko (AK-47, BEST nickname ever) as an Avatar……scary.

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The Mavs’ Deron Williams as “Khal Drogo” from Game of Thrones.

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The Lakers’ Swaggy-P (Nick Young) as “Rick James”.

Lamar Odom Update

When I began researching this morning to find an update about Lamar Odom’s health and current status, I eventually did what all of us typically do, google “Lamar Odom”.

I was instantly depressed when I saw the TOP HEADLINE from the search results was:  “Khloe and Lamar Call Off Divorce, We’re Giving Marriage a Second Chance”

I can’t throw up in my mouth fast enough as I scroll down half a page before I see any headline that actually discusses his current status and what is happening in his recovery.  According to CNN and several other news sites, Lamar is improving and is now in Los Angeles at Cedar-Sanai Hospital recovering “miraculously”.  He reportedly is breathing on his own, has stood up out of bed and even taken a few steps.  Amazing news considering where he was a week ago.rs_634x1024-151014072439-634.Lamar-Odom-Staples.jl.101415

As I continued scrolling, I came across the best article I’ve read about the trolling, succubus, man-destroying, demons that are the Kardashian women…specifically related to the Lamar Odom situation.

Copy and paste the link below or click here, truly a well-written column by the Los Angeles Times’ Bill Plaschke.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-lamar-odom-plaschke-20151021-column.html

NFL Week 6 Review – NFC Edition

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Continuing on from the AFC Edition…..

NFC break-down:

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NFC East

As quoted by TheCoLA previously, “The better of the bad (Eagles) came out with the win 27-7 Monday night, solidly clinching a strong-hold on first place in the NFC East at 3-3.  I mean, someone HAS to win this division right?  Looks like 8-8 will win you the NFC East and get ya in the playoffs this season!!”

The division is still very much up for grabs, but it’s like watching four “short Randy Moss”-sized people jump for the top shelf in the cereal isle at the grocery store.

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Philly and New York are basically carbon-copy teams of dysfunction, both hovering around the middle of the pack when it comes to league rankings.  Philly (as a team) averages 24 ppg and is 11th overall in total offense while New York (as a team) averages 23.3 ppg and is ranked 12th overall in total offense.  Both teams have a lot of work ahead of them on the defensive side of the ball, Philly is ranked 18th in total defense and New NFC-East-Image-576x300York is ranked 28th in total defense.  AND THESE TWO TEAMS ARE TIED FOR THE LEAD IN THE DIVISION!  While Dallas and Washington nurse horrific injuries to star players and constant locker room drama while they perform roster surgery on a weekly basis, the division is wide open for the taking IF anyone really wants it.

Translation: No team in the NFC East has done anything to create any separation in the standings yet, the Eagles faithful hope the Chip Kelly offense will eventually get their feet underneath them somehow, I STILL don’t understand how they aren’t rushing for 500 yds a game with DeMarco Murray and Ryan Matthews in the back field (not to mention Darren Sproles).  But until someone in this division shows they deserve the #1 spot, they’ll all be jumping for that cereal that’s juuuuuust out of reach.

NFC North

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I’m good.

The Green Bay Discount Double-Checks are sprinting away with this top heavy division quicker than the Kardashians turn on a camera and take a selfie every morning (it’s a damn shame what they’ve done to Lamar Odom too).  The Packers sit at 6-0 behind the greatness that is Aaron Rodgers….we should all really take a moment and appreciate being able to see an incredible QB at the peak of his career in real time, Rodgers is one of the best this game has ever seen.

When the Pack-Men’s #1 receiver went down in the preseason (Jordy Nelson), everyone seemed to hit the panic button early and question how the offense would possibly be able to replace 98 receptions, over 1500 yds receiving and 13 TDs with a slot receiver (Randall Cobb) and two relatively unknowns (Davante Adams and Ty Montgomery).  The Packers were immediately viewed as a team that just wasn’t gonna have enough firepower this season to make a run at the Superbowl…….but apparently people forgot about the Force Awakening within the loins of Lambeau Field and Aaron Rodgers’ perfectly groomed man-beard.

They signed the old-faithful TD machine, James Jones (6 TDs in 6 weeks), created a two-headed rushing attack between Eddie Lacy and James Starks (combined 704 yds from scrimmage and 3 TDs) AND they’ve added a legit Tight End who can pose as a red zone threat, Richard Rodgers (189 yds and 2 TDs)……who also provides us with the opportunity to scream things like, “Rodgers to Rodgers!  Put your feet up and get a little of that R&R!”  Ok….at best that’s like a 6 out of 10 joke, I admit it.

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So what’s the matter with you?

The rest of the NFC North is tilting the scales of average to below-average, Minnesota is still several seasons away from being relevant, which is too bad cause AP isn’t getting any younger.  The Chicago Bears and Detroit Lions are dumpster fires riding in a garbage truck through a nitroglycerin plant.

NFC South

Wait, hold on a sec….the Carolina Panthers are 6-0?

CHARLOTTE, NC - OCTOBER 20:  Cam Newton #1 of the Carolina Panthers reacts after running for a first down during their game against the St. Louis Rams at Bank of America Stadium on October 20, 2013 in Charlotte, North Carolina.  (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

No, they’re not 6-0.  You’re GRAVELY mistaken sir.

BUT they are 5-0!

Wait, WHAT!?!?!

I don’t get it either, they lost their best wide receiver to injury in the preseason (deja’ vu Green Bay), Cam Newton was getting into fights with no-name defensive backs in the preseason and Steve Smith Sr. isn’t there anymore!  How are they 5-0???

The Panthers average 27 ppg as a team (6th in the NFL), they’re in the middle-to-lower half of every other statistical category on the offensive side of the ball.  Basically leaning on Cam Newton completely to put them in positions to score (55.4% completions, over 1,000 yds passing, 2-to-1 passing TD/Int ratio, 225 yds rushing with 3 rushing TDs, 52.7 QBR).  Newton isn’t having a stellar year statistically, but he IS timely with his big plays and has matured into the complete and total leader of this football team.

SO HOW ARE THEY WINING?  Defense?

Tampa+Bay+Buccaneers+v+Carolina+Panthers+OwSzVH4XwH1l The Panthers “D” is holding teams to under 20 ppg, but is only top ten in two statistical categories.  They’re tied for 1st place in give/take (+6) and #5 in total yards given up (1,690).  EVERY other defensive category has the Panthers somewhere between #7 and #20 in the NFL.

OK, so the defense is good, but not unbelievable by any means.  So how are they winning?  Are they fool’s gold right now?  Is the schedule light in the beginning of the season for them?  To put it bluntly, HELL YES. Screen Shot 2015-10-21 at 10.19.51 AM

COMBINED, the teams that the Panthers have beat this season have a record of 9-20.  NONE of the teams the Panthers have beat thus far have a winning record or even sit at .500 on the year.  Other than the Seattle game, Carolina has yet to play anyone who was in the playoffs last season.  I think we solved the mystery of the Panthers’ winning ways.  Let’s see what happens over the next three weeks as they meet up with a few more adequate opponents in the Eagles, Colts and Packers.

Having said that, we move on to Hotlanta and the soaring Falcons (my pick to win the division).  Atlanta has the #3 ranked offense in the NFL behind a rushing attack appearing out of nowhere thanks to the mostly unknown Devonta Freeman!  Freeman is 2nd in the NFL in rushing yards (505) and 1st in rushing TDs (9).  The second-year man out of Florida State has been a lightning bolt of excitement during the first 6 weeks of the league, providing a nice balance in the offense that is benefiting the “Cold as Ice” Matt Ryan.  mattryan_zrtayjbf_swaj1u36

Matt Ryan is having a very solid year, throwing at a completion rate of 65.5%, for 1,751 yds and 8 TDs.  He sits at #7 in the QBR rankings at 70.1 for the season.

The Falcons will continue to improve and hopefully get healthier (Julio Jones) as the season goes on, with Freeman and Ryan leading the way.  This could be the year to dethrone Green Bay or Seattle for the NFC title and a trip to the Superbowl.  Atlanta needs to strike while the iron is hot.

NFC West

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Full disclosure, I love the Cardinals this season.  FINALLY we’ve got a fully healthy Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald happening in the desert!!!  Carson Palmer has been through a merry-go-round of peaks and valleys during his career, complete with several season-ending injuries and even the idea of early retirement.  All the while Larry Fitzgerald has been quietly consistent for years a midst a cornucopia of less-than average QBs.  Fitzy has been in receiver-purgatory for years in Arizona, his talent wasting away slowly and his potential untapped without ever saying a negative word.  If there’s EVER been a QB-WR combo that needed to meet up and have (deserved) success late in their careers, it’s these two guys.

The Bruce Arians-lead, aggressive, keepin-it-100-Arizona defense (#8 ranked defense in the NFL) combined with the prodigious passing attack and the other NFL-AARP member (Chris Johnson) running the ball like it’s 2010, the Cardinals are poised to take over the Seahawks reign at the top of the NFC West in 2015.

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throw me the damn ball.

The Rams, Seahawks and 49ers all sit there with 2 wins a piece, fighting for some kind of consistency while they chase down the Cardinals.  I’m sure Seattle will figure out how to be more competitive and consistent offensively, I mean how hard is it to just throw me the throw the ball to Jimmy Graham 15 times a game and hand off to Marshawn Lynch 20 times a game??  Seems pretty obvious to everyone in the football world except maybe the Seattle offensive coordinators.  Why not just let those two guys be ALL ABOUT THAT ACTION BOSS?

Week 6 is in the books, anyone else think this season is going extremely fast!?!?  I already have several fantasy football friends who have given up on their seasons (Jamaal Charles owners).  Let’s keep it going, keep your heads up out there.  LOTS of football yet to be played.


****make sure to check out TheCoLA tshirt design-department:

Screen Shot 2015-10-10 at 5.38.23 PMhttp://www.teegear.com/gobroncos

http://www.teegear.com/gocubs

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