500 miles of Travel for a HAIRCUT

How far would you travel for a good haircut?  Maybe ten, fifteen minutes of drive-time?  Even if/when I am a multi-billionaire media mogul and roll-it-yourself sushi restaurant franchise inventor, I STILL wouldn’t spend more than an hour of my precious spicey-tuna-time to get my haircut.

Would you travel 500 miles round trip for the “Lloyd Christmas – Dumb & Dumber” cut?

Which brings me to my next point, THIS pumpkin-pie-haircutted freak of a NFL owner:

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Mark Davis, (son of the the former-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles -“Splinter” – doppelganger, Al Davis) the current owner of the Oakland Raiders and landslide victor of the coveted 2015 award for Most-Out-of-Touch Rich Guy (former winners: Donald Trump, Al Davis and ALL Republicans over the age of 55) while also being the runner-up for the Most-Likely-to Own a Bunch of Rabbits – Excellence Award; was profiled for ESPN by the terrific and in-depth sports-writer, Tim Keown.

If you don’t want to read the entire article about Mark and his obvious need for someone to love him like a stripper paying her way through medical school (MAJOR Daddy issues), then just read the opening lines and you’ll pretty much get the point:

Most days start the same — behind the wheel of a white 1997 Dodge Caravan SE outfitted with a bubble-top Mark III conversion kit, a VHS player mounted to the roof inside and a r8hers personalized plate. Mark Davis pilots this machine from his East Bay home to the nearest P.F. Chang’s, where he sits at the left end of the bar, same spot every time, puts his white fanny pack on the counter, orders an iced tea and unfolds the day’s newspapers. Beside him on the bar, next to the papers, is his 2003 Nokia push-button phone with full texting capability. When someone calls and asks him where he is, he says, “I’m in my office,” and sends a knowing nod to the bartenders. It gets ‘em every time.

I can’t believe people like this exist and I can’t believe he’s worth $500 million.  Maybe I need to travel to Palm Dessert and get my haircut like a serial killer, maybe I’m missing the obvious correlation between hair style and financial success?

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markdavislol

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