We Should All Root For The Cubs

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If you follow baseball at all then you probably would agree with me when I say that the Chicago Cubs are basically Major League Baseball’s version of Mark Wahlberg………..(gasps of confusion)……let me explain.

A team (Wahlberg) that’s been around for a long time (Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch) and are seemingly ageless, talented and always decently entertaining with a number of flare-ups of brilliant moments over the years (Boogie Nights, 1984 NL East Title, Three Kings, Kerry Wood striking out 20 batters, FearNL Central Titles in ’07 and ’08, The Fighter, Harry Caray) but as a franchise they’re surrounded by sub-par, meltdowns let-downs (Max Payne, Bartman) for any real fan.

The dark streak of mediocrity continues and counts the days since the last Cubs World Series championship (107 years).  The last Wahlberg flick worth the hour and half to two hours of screen-time was only slightly more recent, Lone Survivor.   Bottom line is that neither the Cubs nor the ever-entertaining former dance music singer Mark Wahlberg have sniffed a trophy in quite a long time.

Chicago Cubs = Mark Wahlberg

In such a way that most blue-blooded, 30-something guys secretly root for Mark Wahlberg’s next tough-guy role to be the one that makes it ok for us to publicly say, “Hey, that new Wahlberg flick looks awesome”; we should also be rooting for the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series in 2015.  Here are my reasons:

  1.  Back To The Future IIin addition to accurately predicting the weather and  inventing multiple things available to us all today 30 years later: facetime…projection screen-TVs…hoverboards…flying cars…handheld tablet computers with thumbprint technology…a baseball team in Miami…video conferencing…wall mounted TVs…google glass (sunglasses that do everything)…being addicted to technology…dehydrated food.  Back To The Future II also predicted that the Chicago Cubs would win the 2015 World Series, and here were are in October of 2015 and the Cubs actually are in the playoffs and have the opportunity (as much as any other wild card team ever) to make that come true.  Seriously, name me another movie that accurately predicted such a specific moment in time 30 years before it happened?  Go ahead, I’ll wait…………katt-uhh-no
  2. Can you imagine what the party would be like in Chicago IF the Cubs put an end to the 107 year gap between championships!?!?  It would be the greatest train-wreck of a celebration EVER.  The Chicago River and Lake Michigan would be permanently died brown from all the celebration puke and brown liquor that would flood the streets around the passed-out bodies of grown men clutching their Ernie Banks bobble-head dolls.  THAT image is well worth it.
  3. Does anyone out here really need to see the Yankees or whoever else win ANOTHER championship this season?  I mean, who cares….seriously.  Unless your a die-hard Angels fan (what’s wrong with you?) or Spankees fan, why bother rooting for anyone but the Cubs?  It’s so far beyond “their turn” to get a ring that it’s been the Yankees turn 27 times and even the Red Sox turn 7 times since the Cubs did it last.
  4. Harry Caray –   He’s the greatest in-game commentator EVER and the only reason to watch or listen to a Cubs game for that 15 year span in the 80’s and 90’s.  He was so good, Will Ferrell created one of the single greatest impressions you’ve ever seen.  You never knew what you gonna hear out of his mouth during a game:
    1. “Booze, broads and bullshit. If you got all that, what else you need?”,
    2. “I’ve only been doing this for 54 years. With a little experience, I might get better.”
    3. “Not only do I like to go to bars because I like to drink, I do like to drink, but I go because who do you see there? Baseball fans.”  
  5. Back To The Future II – Did I mention that already:cubswinworldseries
  6. Fans in Wrigley catch foul balls in beer cups and chug the beer like a champ on the regular…..it’s happened twice now. Click Here and Here.
  7. Also…cause of this guy, he’s a Cubs fan:1455122266627543880
  8. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – The greatest “playing hookie” movie ever made, whether you are a successful Wall Street stockbroker or a high school student who wants to get out of gym class, Ferris Bueller’s day off perfectly encompasses our desire to be 12 years old and go to a day game at Wrigley field when you’re supposed to be doing something else.  That’s TWO CLASSIC movies voting for the Chicago Cubs. 

Wrigley Field is one of the few left-overs from a simpler time, a historical shadow of baseball that barely exists in any aspect of the sport now.  The franchise deserves our support this season, but more importantly BASEBALL needs this.  There’s a trading of the guard-transition happening in baseball right now from what once was (Derek Jeter, The Yankees, The Red Sox, Steroids, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa) and what now is.  It’s the end of an era for a lot of us.  No matter how you chop it up, the good, the bad and the ugly seem larger than life now in our national past-time, I think we need a little more old-school to bring us back to our roots.  And nothing says old-school like a 107 year curse.  Go Cubs.

 

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One thought on “We Should All Root For The Cubs

  1. Pingback: Discover: Weekend Warriors « MLB.com Blogs

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