And Now We Can Officially Root For The Cubs

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Between batters getting tagged with wild pitches, bench-clearing “almost-fights” and the Chicago Cubs raking the ball like a grown man playing t-ball in the NL Wildcard game last night, we now have even MORE of a reason to root on the Back To The Future II: Electric Boogaloo – Chicago Cubs in the MLB playoffs now.

That was the biggest swing of the night, (NOT involving a defenseless Gatorade cooler) belonging to Cubs right fielder Kyle Schwarber, who absolutely CRUSHED Gerrit Cole’s third inning pitch for a two-run homer.  That put the Cubs up 3-0 and they never looked back, even after a bench-clearing skirmish in the top of the 7th inning.

After the teams peacocked there way back to their respective benches, Pirates’ utility player Sean Rodriguez was apparently NOT to happy with his ejection for acting like a roid-raged, neanderthal-idiot on the field, so he continued his tough-guy show in the dugout on an unsuspecting, innocent-bystander Gatorade cooler:

Sean Rodriguez seems to greatly enjoy punching inanimate objects, he broke his hand while in Triple-A ball back in 2012 when he punched a locker, I guess the locker had a stronger jaw than this Gatorade cooler.

The Gatorade cooler was unavailable for comment after the game, but the 2012 locker from the Triple-A Durham Bulls locker room released a statement today:

I was a battered locker, I felt ashamed and embarrassed about saying that I was a battered locker until very recently.  Through therapy I have come to grips with the fact that I will never be a “whole locker” again inside and out.  When it happened I didn’t know what to do, but now I know I was in a very dysfunctional, hostile relationship and a victim of domestic locker room, anit-closet violence.  I hope my story and this new incident bring to light the dangers of abusive locker room or dugout relationships.

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Go Cubs

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