The Weirdest Post Season Inning EVER

In an EPIC game 5 last night in Toronto, the Blue Jays beat the Rangers, 6-3 to advance to the ALCS.  Please god, gimme a Cubs vs. Blue Jays World Series, that’s the only way I’ll care enough to watch every game and pretend to be interested.

Having said that, the 7th inning in last night’s contest was the most ridiculous, ludicrous-speed inning of baseball I’ve ever seen:

  1. Blue Jays’ catcher Russell Martin bounced the throwback to the pitcher off Shin Soo Choo’s bat, leading to a run for Texas and leading to me saying, uh….what the hell just happened?
  2. Score is now 3-2 Rangers.  Blue Jays fans started throwing whatever they could find onto the field in total-respectful and not offensive-disgust.  TONS of Labatt Blue bottles, french fries with gravy, canadian bacon and flapjacks with maple syrup were hurled while polite and sensitive passive aggressive phrases were spoken loudly to, but not screamed at the umpires.
  3. Now to the bottom of the 7th inning; Blue Jays are up to bat, Russell Martin hits an easy grounder to Elvis (we gotta win this race) Andrus, and he boots it.  HOLY BALLS!  I could’ve made that play!  This is just the beginning folks, get your popcorn ready.
  4. THE NEXT BATTER, easy double-play ball hit to Rangers’ first baseman, Mitch Moreland…..who throws the ball into the dirt at second base!  WTF is going on!?!?! That’s two errors in a row!!  I can’t wait to see what happens next.
  5. THE NEXT BATTER, sacrifice bunt to move the runners, Rangers Adrian Beltre makes a great play on the ball, turns and fires to third base to get the force out on the lead runner (Russell Martin reached by an error)….and Elvis (mid-1970s Elvis version) Andrus DROPS THE THROW!  That’s TWO errors in less than 10 minutes for Andrus!?!?!  THREE CONSECUTIVE PLAYS with errors!  I had no idea Buffalo Wild Wings was a Toronto Blue Jays fan:
  6. IT’S STILL NOT OVER!  Jays’ Josh Donaldson is up with the bases loaded.  He hits a dumpster-fire of a dying quail over the back-peddling, “Scotty Smalls” at second base.  Ball drops in for a hit.  One run scores.  The Rangers manage to get a force out at second base.
    • Tom-Guiry-as-Scotty-Smalls-in-The-Sandlot-tom-guiry-24441450-1360-768thesandlot_3
  7. So now there’s a man on first and third, we’re tied up at 3-3, a few batters later we got JOEY BATS (Jose Bautista) up to the plate.  And this happens:

Game, set, match….Blue Blouses.

Of course today all anyone can talk about is the bat-flip from Jose Bautista after he tattooed the ball over the left field fence, because everyone has to be mad about something these days.

I’m sure next season, first game of the next series between Toronto and Texas, the Texas pitcher will plunk Bautista in the back with a 90 mph fastball to “teach him a lesson” for the bat-flip.

All the older-than-50 sportswriters will agree that it was the right thing to do and it’s the “unwritten rules of baseball” that allows players to police themselves and maliciously throw a hard-as-shit baseball at someone’s body on purpose as hard as they can with the intention of hurting them….but that’s ok as long as it’s because the guy flipped his bat after a homerun.  Here’s an idea of “self-policing” for all these “unwritten rules” in baseball, specific to the Rangers:  How about you don’t commit three consecutive errors and then give up a 3 run home run all in the same inning to lose the series and end the season for your team??  How about you concentrate on that instead of worrying about a guy celebrating after a homerun?!?!

When Joey Bats hits a game clinching, go-ahead, series-killing, pancake-n-syrup, MONSTER home run in the ALDS, I think he has the right to flip his bat in the air in celebration.  He flipped his bat in the air….that’s all…..what’s wrong with that?  It’s not like he threw the bat at the pitcher or whipped out his mini-bat and started chasing guys around the diamond or anything.

So, lemme get this strait, it’s NOT ok for the batter to flip his bat in the air after a homerun, BUT it is ok for a pitcher to throw a fastball at his back ON PURPOSE the next time he’s up to the plate to “send a message”?

I call bullshit.

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