Tryin’ To Do Too Much: Lance Stephenson Edition

Is there any “highlight” clip on earth that sums up “Tryin’ To Do Too Much” more than this Lance Stephenson example:

The enigmatic dynamic mercurial versatile some-timey basketball-pseudo-star, newest edition to the Memphis Grizzlies, Lance Stephenson, is a tough fortune cookie to crack.  Stephenson had his best season when he was starting and getting 35 minutes a game in Indiana where he averaged 13.6 ppg, 4.6 ast, and 7.2 reb per game.   But when he was traded to the Hornets he was quickly demoted to rotational duties, then while with the Clippers he literally started at every position on the floor, except center, at one time or another.  Towards the end of his LA story, he came off the bench, averaging a measly 15 minutes per game, proving that Doc Rivers and company had no effing clue what to do with him.

“Put on my blue suede shoes and
I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain….”

And now he’s walkin’ in Memphis (Waaaalkin in Memphis) and this is what the fans got in his second game (if you read that in the rhythm of the song…..it’s better):

ESPN Should Suspend Cari Champion Immediately From All Further NBA Discussions

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In her defense, up until recently she was sitting desk-side at the “Two Morons At A Desk” show in the early mornings starring Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless which HAD to have an insurmountable affect on not only her psyche but her common sense.  I mean, you sit in close proximity to that kind of bat-shit crazy on a daily basis for several hours, it’s bound to rub off on you in some way shape or form…..kinda like the flu…..or the bubonic plague.

Apparently more of that Mountain Dew-Extreme, donut shop baker-sports opinion rubbed off on her than anyone realized, as she decided to take that dumpster-fire of a shock-jock-opinion based logic to NBA tonight on ESPN.  Pay attention to what this insane person says at the .33 second mark and watch Chris Broussard almost loose his collective NBA-analyst shit:

Go sit down somewhere Cari Champion, just go take five minutes and collect your thoughts.  Much like Dion Waiters, you’re tryin’ to do a little too much.

And while I’m at it, David Lloyd can go take a seat as well since he put Draymond Green and Russell Westbrook above Kevin Durant on this ridiculous list of stupidity.

WHY DO I HAVE TO GET ANGRY ABOUT THIS STUFF MANNNNNNN!?!?!?!

I heard Zoolander 2 really sucked

I heard Zoolander 2 really sucked

Tryin’ To Do Too Much: The Dion Waiters Story

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The Oklahoma City Thunder’s Dion Waiters has shot a horrific 9 for 36 (25%) over his last few games, and most recently celebrating a 1 for 8 (12%) shooting performance last night against his former team, the Cleveland Cavs.

Then this brilliant piece of basketball cinema was released today commemorating the stellar slump of the “Poor Man’s JR Smith”:

Dion’s season stats are considerably down this year:

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In addition to a down scoring average, down assists, down rebounds, down PER….he’s also shooting a miserable 39% from the field and 34% from the 3-point line.  But hey, at least his assist-to-turnover ratio is 1 to 1 (he said sarcastically).

Go sit down for a minute Dion, you’re trying to do too much.

The Brow That Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

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The New Orleans Pelicans’ Anthony Davis has been on true NBA fans’ radar for quite a while even though he resides in the land that basketball forgot.  Sorry, there’s just way more things to do in N’Awlins than support the basketball team….BUT, the eyebrow that never ends is making enough noise and funk in the Big Easy to make even Dr. Jon or Fats Domino take notice.

With an emphatic scream and announcement to the league, “TAKE ME SERIOUSLY” last night, A-Brow had a career night posting 59 points on 24-for-34 shooting and collected 20 rebounds in 43 minutes of what Rob & Big would refer to as “DO WORK SON!”

 

The Only Performance You Need To Watch From The Grammy Awards

Kendrick Lamar performs on stage during the 58th Annual Grammy Awards in Los Angeles, California on February 15, 2016. AFP PHOTO / ROBYN BECKROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images ORIG FILE ID: 548989267

This isn’t just hip-hop, this isn’t just music, this isn’t JUST the most enigmatically brilliant rapper alive right now performing on the 2016 Grammy Awards…..this is performance art like you’ll never see again on live TV (even though CBS edited a line cause at the end of the day, this is CBS).  If you’re lost already and have no idea what I’m talking about, educate yourself:

Due to copyright issues, CLICK HERE to be redirected to the Kendrick’s performance video.

Kendrick’s performance made the fact that Taylor Swift (wtf?) inexplicably won the album of the year award completely irrelevant.  No one will remember Taylor Swift’s album a year from now, but we’ll all remember Kendrick Lamar’s performance.  Kendrick accomplished more in this 7 minute musical opus than Taylor Swift (or most artists) will accomplish in their entire life musically.

I’m sure CBS will have a hurricane of complaints today about a “political performance” on The Grammy Awards, I can just hear them now, “How do I explain this performance to my children?” or “What am I supposed to tell my kids about this?”.

That’s the point folks, talk to your kids about the challenging, creative, brutally honest performance you just witnessed.  Don’t hide behind vagueness or generalities or awkwardness, be true and open up lines of real communication.  Kendrick Lamar just challenged all of us, to step it up right now.

Is This OK?

The Clippers were in Boston last night, marking what will probably be the last time Paul Pierce sets foot on the parquet floor as a player.  Pierce was a fixture in Boston for fifteen seasons, bringing Bean-Town an NBA championship in 2008 for which he was the Finals MVP.

Not to mention chalking up 10 All-Star appearances and being ranked in the franchise’s top  five all-time for points, games played, field goals made, free throws made and top ten all-time in literally EVERY franchise category imaginable.

He WAS the Celtics for all of the 2000’s until he was traded to Brooklyn for 57 first round picks and a Dunkin Donuts franchise.

So then last night after a solid, warm welcome from Boston fans, the Clippers fake-stabbed Paul Pierce during the starting lineup announcements?  I’m guessing that was supposed to be some kind of homage to the time Pierce was stabbed 11 times in a Boston nightclub?  WTF is going on with the Clippers?

Nuts and Bolts, Nuts and Bolts; Boise State Got SCREWED

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Even as a local Coloradoan, I can say confidently that we got away with one here.

Last night in an entertaining mid-major college hoops feet of strength, the Boise State Broncos seemed to have pulled off the miracle buzzer-beating win over the hosting Colorado State Rams.  The Broncos’ James Webb III hit’s a bank-shot three pointer with just 0.8 seconds left to play to seemingly give the Idahoians a huge Mountain West conference win on the road from the planet Hoth (Colorado).

BUT (huge ass on this one), when the zebras went to the monitor to review the last second hot-potato, they determined that the clock did not start at the exact moment when Webb III received the ball, and therefore ruled that he did not get the shot off in under .8 seconds.  Now if you’re a man of science, or just common sense, you may ask how the refs got to this conclusion, how did they determine the lag time in the clock starting?  They used the same tool that your girlfriend/wife throws in your face every Friday night to determine if you provided them with the “satisfaction” of a good night sleep……a stop-watch.

Here is the shot in slow motion, notice the clock above the basket:

ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt weighed in last night with his two-cents.

And now for the twitter-verse to take control and ruin every referee’s life for the next week:

A real-life reliable way to determine how long it took Webb III to get that shot off is to break down the video of the shot frame by frame, which is completely possible to do in real time during the game.  Webb III held the ball for 17 frames before releasing it, which is equal to 0.57 seconds.  BOOM, done and done.