Since I’m a day behind on the picks for this week, we won’t use that joke of a game that took a dump in a box and marked it guaranteed on the NFL Network last night.
Casey Gutting’s Winners:
Taking Dallas @ home -6.5 over Houston
The Dallas Buyers’ Club is in full swing, Jerry’s boys are cruising the strip looking for a good time and some serious Texan cattle-roping action! Romo-phobia is at full deployment levels in Houston right now, Tony’s got the “Zombie-Oilers” scared.
Taking Pittsburgh away -6.5 over Jacksonville
I can’t imagine a world where Pittsburgh loses to Tampa Bay at home in week 4 and then loses to Jacksonville in week 5. God doesn’t hate the Steelers, he hates the Cubs. (sorry Chicago fans)
Taking Denver @ home -8 over Arizona
If I’m honest, this is because I’m a Denver fan. But really, there’s no way a QB-controversy-Arizona team is gonna beat Peyton FREAKIN Manning at home coming off of a bye week.
AND while I’m on the subject, wtf is going on in Arizona!?!? THROW THE BALL TO LARRY FITZGERALD!! He should get at least 10-15 targets a game, he’s only had 21 targets in 4 weeks of play! He’s arguably the most talented receiver in the NFL and Arizona has been wasting away his PRIME for as long as I can remember! Throw the man the ball NOW!! J.J. Watt has more TDs than Larry Fitzgerald does this season……..YES, you read that correctly.
Taking “Whale’s Vagina” (San Diego) @ home -7 over New York/New Jersey/Toilet
The Jets suck, let the charade be ended for all to see clearly. Geno Smith is poop on a stick. Half the team is always injured, and San Diego is playing out of their minds right now. Don’t agree to disagree with me.
Taking TCU @ home +4 over Oklahoma
This is the pick of the weekend by a lot of analysts that know more than I do. TCU is ranked 19th in the country in passing yds. at 320 yds/game, they’re ranked 9th in the country in points scored at almost 45 ppg., AND they have an amazing athlete, duel-threat QB named Trevone Boykin who leads the team in rushing and passing TDs, the only thing this guy doesn’t do is catch his own touchdown passes. But who knows what TCU has up their sleeve for Oklahoma this Saturday, GO HORNED FROGS!!
T.L. Graham’s Winners:
After a horrible first week picking the spreads, here’s to making amends this week with my picks:
Mississippi State (-2.5) over Texas A&M:
This is shaping up to be a special year for Dak Prescott and the Bulldogs, but they are still in the SEC West, with a lot of football, and the state of Alabama left on their schedule. A&M is also on their schedule, and the number six ranking in the nation.
Alabama (-6) over Ole Miss:
All eyes of the football world will be on the state of Mississippi this Saturday. Ole Miss is looking for the upset to put them into the upper echelon of the SEC. Nick Saban is not going to allow that on his watch.
Michigan (+1.5) over Rutgers:
It’s tough to take Michigan in this game with all the turmoil surrounding the team. Nonetheless, they’ll pull it together to get a win against the newbie in the conference, Rutgers.
Pittsburgh (-6) over Jacksonville:
Blake Bortles didn’t look too bad in his rookie debut, but he still plays for Jacksonville.
Cleveland (+2.5) over Tennessee:
This pick is based on a slight edge at quarterback. Brian Hoyer seems to be a little (and I mean a little) more consistent in his offense than Jake Locker and/or Charlie Whitehurst.
BONUS PICK FROM OUTERSPACE:
CSU Rams @ home -18 over Tulsa
CSU is on a roll, at 3-1 with their only loss coming at Boise State (smurf-turf confused them) AND coming off victories against in-state rival University of Colorado 31-17 AND at Boston College 24-21 last week, CSU is poised to go big against the Tulsa Golden Hurricanes (Hurricanes in Tulsa??) on Saturday.