Come and meet the Mets, greet the Mets!

A potential first-inning rally ended prematurely for the New York Mets because they batted out of order Wednesday after a discrepancy in lineup cards. They went on to lose to the Cincinnati Reds 2-1.

“It’s frustrating,” Mets manager Mickey Callaway said. “It probably cost us the game.”

A screw-up of this nature typically is saved for Little League, Tee-ball or Beer-league softball, which accurately describes where the Mets are sitting currently in the National League East, where they sit only above the cellar-dwelling Zombie Marlins.

According to ESPN Stats & Information research, the Brewers were the last team to bat out of order, doing so in the first inning on July 4, 2016, against the Nationals.

I can’t believe this has happened in two MLB games within 3 seasons of each other…..even my old-man rec softball league in which I attend for the purpose of drinking in a dugout while wearing a uniform hasn’t screwed up the batting order in the last 3 years.



USA Men’s curling team should stick to curling

The gold medal-winning U.S. Olympic men’s curling team could use some work on the ceremonial first pitches, or maybe any type of sport that doesn’t involve ice, a broom and a rock.

Man, those were bad. Crummy opening pitches have become the norm, pretty much across the board. But every once in a while you get a REALLY shitty throw that makes everyone watching simultaneously say “tha fuck was that?”.

The combined efforts of (from left to right) Joe Polo, John Shuster, Tyler George, Matt Hamilton, and John Landsteiner resulted in one respectable throw—well, one and a half if we count Hamilton rolling his baseball to the catcher. By far the best/worst of the bunch is Tyler George (middle) going full “Wild Thing” by tossing it to the wrong catcher completely in curling-unison with John Shuster’s toss that ended up in the bottom of Lake Minnetonka.

Go team USA.



You Know It’s A Slow Time In Sports When…..


Yesterday a guy dove head first into the Yankees dugout, knocked himself unconscious and then was arrested.

This description of events, from the New York Daily News, is funny:

“It kind of freaked me out, actually,” Girardi said. “I think he tried to jump in, but he was probably not in a state to be walking.”

Girardi said the fan landed on the steps, hitting his side after falling from the top of the dugout. He tried to get up and fell again, this time hitting the back of his head. Stadium security moved quickly to apprehend the fan and escorted him out of the dugout and off the field.


I couldn’t find any video of the events, so here’s a squirrel doing squirrel things:

And in Little League World Series news, this happened:


Also, this happened:

Prince Fielder Might Be Done


Prince Fielder underwent neck surgery on July 29 for the second time since 2014.  According to Ken Rosenthal, the 32-year-old slugger isn’t technically retiring.  Instead, Rosenthal reported, “He is medically disabled and doctors will not clear him to play.”

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That’s an important distinction in the semantic/contractual world.  It means Fielder will receive the $96 million remaining on his contract, which runs through 2020.  The Detroit Tigers are on the hook for $6 million per year.  The Rangers, meanwhile, have an insurance policy that will pay 50 percent of their $18 million annual commitment, per Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News.

The real number that is staggering in the story of Prince Fielder is 319.  That’s the total number of homeruns in his 12 year career.  It’s also the EXACT same number his father, Cecil, hit in 13 MLB campaigns.  Read that again….both Cecil and Prince Fielder hit 319 homeruns a piece.  What!?!?!

To say that’s a numerical anomaly would be an incredible understatement of Seinfeldian dry sarcasm.  How does that happen?!?!?  The number 319 is the baseball cosmic equivalent of deja’ vu or kismet when it comes to the Fielder family.  If this is indeed Prince’s last hooray, what a weird stat-nerd way to go out.  Baseball is all about numbers and statistical analysis, and this one can’t be explained by any earthly science, it;s truly baseball gods at work.

We Should All Root For The Cubs


If you follow baseball at all then you probably would agree with me when I say that the Chicago Cubs are basically Major League Baseball’s version of Mark Wahlberg………..(gasps of confusion)……let me explain.

A team (Wahlberg) that’s been around for a long time (Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch) and are seemingly ageless, talented and always decently entertaining with a number of flare-ups of brilliant moments over the years (Boogie Nights, 1984 NL East Title, Three Kings, Kerry Wood striking out 20 batters, FearNL Central Titles in ’07 and ’08, The Fighter, Harry Caray) but as a franchise they’re surrounded by sub-par, meltdowns let-downs (Max Payne, Bartman) for any real fan.

The dark streak of mediocrity continues and counts the days since the last Cubs World Series championship (107 years).  The last Wahlberg flick worth the hour and half to two hours of screen-time was only slightly more recent, Lone Survivor.   Bottom line is that neither the Cubs nor the ever-entertaining former dance music singer Mark Wahlberg have sniffed a trophy in quite a long time.

Chicago Cubs = Mark Wahlberg

In such a way that most blue-blooded, 30-something guys secretly root for Mark Wahlberg’s next tough-guy role to be the one that makes it ok for us to publicly say, “Hey, that new Wahlberg flick looks awesome”; we should also be rooting for the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series in 2015.  Here are my reasons:

  1.  Back To The Future IIin addition to accurately predicting the weather and  inventing multiple things available to us all today 30 years later: facetime…projection screen-TVs…hoverboards…flying cars…handheld tablet computers with thumbprint technology…a baseball team in Miami…video conferencing…wall mounted TVs…google glass (sunglasses that do everything)…being addicted to technology…dehydrated food.  Back To The Future II also predicted that the Chicago Cubs would win the 2015 World Series, and here were are in October of 2015 and the Cubs actually are in the playoffs and have the opportunity (as much as any other wild card team ever) to make that come true.  Seriously, name me another movie that accurately predicted such a specific moment in time 30 years before it happened?  Go ahead, I’ll wait…………katt-uhh-no
  2. Can you imagine what the party would be like in Chicago IF the Cubs put an end to the 107 year gap between championships!?!?  It would be the greatest train-wreck of a celebration EVER.  The Chicago River and Lake Michigan would be permanently died brown from all the celebration puke and brown liquor that would flood the streets around the passed-out bodies of grown men clutching their Ernie Banks bobble-head dolls.  THAT image is well worth it.
  3. Does anyone out here really need to see the Yankees or whoever else win ANOTHER championship this season?  I mean, who cares….seriously.  Unless your a die-hard Angels fan (what’s wrong with you?) or Spankees fan, why bother rooting for anyone but the Cubs?  It’s so far beyond “their turn” to get a ring that it’s been the Yankees turn 27 times and even the Red Sox turn 7 times since the Cubs did it last.
  4. Harry Caray –   He’s the greatest in-game commentator EVER and the only reason to watch or listen to a Cubs game for that 15 year span in the 80’s and 90’s.  He was so good, Will Ferrell created one of the single greatest impressions you’ve ever seen.  You never knew what you gonna hear out of his mouth during a game:
    1. “Booze, broads and bullshit. If you got all that, what else you need?”,
    2. “I’ve only been doing this for 54 years. With a little experience, I might get better.”
    3. “Not only do I like to go to bars because I like to drink, I do like to drink, but I go because who do you see there? Baseball fans.”  
  5. Back To The Future II – Did I mention that already:cubswinworldseries
  6. Fans in Wrigley catch foul balls in beer cups and chug the beer like a champ on the regular…’s happened twice now. Click Here and Here.
  7. Also…cause of this guy, he’s a Cubs fan:1455122266627543880
  8. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – The greatest “playing hookie” movie ever made, whether you are a successful Wall Street stockbroker or a high school student who wants to get out of gym class, Ferris Bueller’s day off perfectly encompasses our desire to be 12 years old and go to a day game at Wrigley field when you’re supposed to be doing something else.  That’s TWO CLASSIC movies voting for the Chicago Cubs. 

Wrigley Field is one of the few left-overs from a simpler time, a historical shadow of baseball that barely exists in any aspect of the sport now.  The franchise deserves our support this season, but more importantly BASEBALL needs this.  There’s a trading of the guard-transition happening in baseball right now from what once was (Derek Jeter, The Yankees, The Red Sox, Steroids, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa) and what now is.  It’s the end of an era for a lot of us.  No matter how you chop it up, the good, the bad and the ugly seem larger than life now in our national past-time, I think we need a little more old-school to bring us back to our roots.  And nothing says old-school like a 107 year curse.  Go Cubs.


Seriously Bro? You Have One Job To Do….ONE!

After an Alex Rios homerun last night, the Cleveland Indians “COO of Fireworks and Other Flammable Products” set off a bunch of sky-rockets celebrating the feet of strength.  There’s only one problem here, Alex Rios plays for the Kansas City Royals……NOT the home-town Cleveland Indians!

COME ON MAN!  You have one thing on your to-do list: Set off fireworks when an Indian player hits a homer.  COME ON MAN!!!


This is How Bad The Red Sox Season is Going

I mean in all seriousness, we wish all the best to John Farrell.  I’m sure the dumpster fire of a season for the Red Sox had nothing to do with him getting cancer:

**Originally posted by The Boston Globe**

Red Sox manager John Farrell reveals he has cancer

8/4/2015 - John Farrell announces his stage 1 lymphoma diagnosis to the media. (WBZ)


Red Sox manager John Farrell announced during Friday’s pregame press conference that he has lymphoma.



His usually commanding voice cracking with emotion, Red Sox manager John Farrell revealed Friday that he has been diagnosed with cancer and would step down for the remainder of the season.

The Stage 1 lymphoma was discovered Monday when the 53-year-old Farrell had surgery in Detroit to correct a hernia.

Treatment will begin immediately at Massachusetts General Hospital. Farrell described the cancer as being localized and highly curable.

“Thankfully, it was detected in the hernia surgery,” he said. “So I can honestly say I’m extremely fortunate it was found.”

Bench coach Torey Lovullo will manage the Red Sox over the final seven weeks of the season.

“It’s been a surreal four or five days,” said Farrell. “I never had one symptom before the notification of it.

“I take a step back and I’m extremely, extremely fortunate to be able to have caught this at this stage.”

Farrell had said Tuesday that he suffered the hernia while tossing his equipment bag following a game against the Yankees in New York on Aug. 6. Within four days, that led to the discovery of the cancer.

Farrell said a cancerous mass was removed at the time of the surgery. No additional surgery is needed, and he will begin at least nine weeks of chemotherapy next week.

Farrell said he had every intention of rejoining the team next season in time for spring training.

General manager Ben Cherington and Red Sox players David Ortiz and Dustin Pedroia were present when Farrell made his startling announcement.

“John is an incredible human being,” Ortiz said. “In our situation, you’ve got 25 men in the room, and he’s got to put up with each one of us, every situation.

“I think it’s time for us to give him back that support and that much love that he gives to all of us. We’re going to ride through this with him.”

Peter Abraham can be reached at Follow him on Twitter @peteabe.