Don Draper, Sam Malone, and Mo from The Simpsons; what do all these leading men have in common? In addition to offensive vocabulary and a square jaw, all three luminaries have the uncanny ability to finesse a sophisticated cocktail out of thin air quicker than Dwayne Johnson releases movies about world-ending catastrophes. While we can’t all be iconic debutants of style and class all the time, becoming the Lothario of liquors with an exceptional home bar is attainable and even affordable.
A well-maintained alcohol armory can provide endless opportunities to impress friends, enrage frenemies, and even gain the attention of that attractive new neighbor. The main key to any home bar is to start with what you typically drink, as long as it’s not Zima, and then build from there.
Here are some options that won’t break the bank and send you back to two-buck Chuck.
We’ve all been there, had that one drink that put us over the edge of appropriate thought and lead to screaming out, “I will fight everyone in this room! Who wants some of Debo?!?”
USC football coach, Steve Sarkisian made a mistake at a booster and alumni event recently, he got tanked off some kind of brown-water while “on medication” that made him yell and scream like a drunk Uncle on Thanksgiving.
Sarkisian”I took medication, mixed it with alcohol — not a lot, fortunately — and I responded in a way that was not acceptable.
He went on to mouth-slur a few comments about other schools in the Pac-12 as well, claiming, “They all suck”. Sark was noticeably intoxicated on stage and was eventually given the hook by USC Athletic Director, Pat Haden.
Haden apparently reprimanded him right as Coach Sark was pulled off the stage:
Sark: “Pat Haden talked to me after the event about my actions and I assured him this will not happen again.”
- He’s a grown man at a party for HIS team with HIS Alumni and Boosters. If he wants to get drunk and be a hammered-cheerleader for USC football, isn’t that the best place to do it?? I don’t hear any donors or alumni chiming in and saying their upset. Who HASN’T done this to some extent or another? (I know, I know….just keep reading…)
- The only reason this is an issue is because it was caught on camera and some USC nerd (who should be smacked around a bit) posted it publicly. This kinda thing happens ALL THE TIME at college booster meetings and pep rallies. (I promise, just keep reading…)
- On the other hand, Sarkisian IS supposed to be a leader and role model for everyone involved with the athletic program at USC. So getting prom-date drunk and yelling out “fuckin fight on baby!” at a pep rally is probably in poor taste. (There ya go, see I can be a mature adult)
- He should’ve known better than to get white-boy wasted and go all Al Pacino on a microphone in public, regardless of where it was. You’re a public figure and a leader of under-21 year old college kids, you’re held to a higher standard than my creepy uncle after too many Jack and Cokes. Be more responsible. (Real adult talk right there)
- If you’re on medication, DON’T drink. It’s that simple. You’re a grown-ass man, come on. (BOOM)
His team punished him by making him do up-downs til he sweat out the alcohol:
USC Quarter Back, Cody Kessler said Sark asked the team to give him punishment like he would them — which was up-downs. “He came back drenched in sweat.”