Warriors Win NBA Finals – Javale McGee Finally Gets His Ring

Javale McGee = NBA Champion 

Charles Barkley, Elgin Baylor, Karl Malone, Patrick Ewing, John Stockton, Allen Iverson, Dominique Wilkins, Chris Paul and George Gervin = NOT Javale McGee

The rat-tailed, 7-foot basketball-Narnia-journeyman of the NBA finally reached a pinnacle that MANY of the greats have never ascended.  Despite being a player who by all accounts should be an unguardable force forged by the Greek God of athletics (Hermes) himself, previous to this moment Mr. McGee seemed to never quite grasp his natural surroundings, similar to a jheri-curl or a mullet.

Perhaps Javale’s basketball prowess could be more aptyl compared to a baby deer standing on a frozen pond for the better part of purgatory, he only seems to comprehend images six inches in front of his face while he floats amidst the tress, vaguely reminiscient of an elderly man lost in a mall parking lot.

And yet here he is now, NBA Champion and Supreme Leader of Braided Rat-Tail Enthusiasts.

Trump’s America…am I right?!?!






A Bunch Of Math Attempting To Convince Me That The Current Warriors Are Better Than The 90’s Bulls

The Complete History Of The NBA

How do you rate an NBA team across decades of play? One method is Elo, a simple measure of strength based on game-by-game results. We calculated Elo ratings for every NBA (and ABA) franchise after every game in history — over 60,000 ratings in total. Read more: How this works | 2016-17 rankings and picks


Golden State (1971-), San Francisco (1962-71), Philadelphia (1946-62)
Four championships

Elo ratings have a simple formula; the only inputs are the final score of each game, and where and when it was played. Teams always gain Elo points for winning. But they get more credit for upset victories and for winning by larger margins. Elo ratings are zero-sum, however. When the Houston Rockets gained 49 Elo points by winning the final three games of their Western Conference semifinal during this year’s playoffs, that meant the Los Angeles Clippers lost 49 Elo points.

A rating of 1500 is approximately average, although the league average can be slightly higher or lower depending on how recently the league has expanded. (Expansion teams begin with a 1300 rating.) Select a team above, and zoom in to explore its history.

1990s Bulls: Formerly The Best There Ever Was

bulls5It’s no surprise that the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls — with 72 regular-season wins — had the best Elo rating ever until they were surpassed by the Golden State Warriors in Game 1 of the 2017 NBA Finals. Chicago picked up its fourth NBA championship at the end of that season, but the Bulls hit their peak Elo (1853) a few games earlier when they stomped the SuperSonics 108-86 in Seattle to take a 3-0 lead in the finals and improve their playoff record to 14-1. Chicago went into a “slump” for the next two games — losing both by double digits — before clinching the title in Game 6.

The Lakers’ 33 Games To Greatness

lakersGoing into the 1971-72 season, the Los Angeles Lakers had a middling 1496 Elo rating, in part because their competition was watered down by the NBA’s rapid expansion (the league had gone from nine to 17 franchises in the span of several years). And anchored by aging veterans Elgin Baylor (37 years old), Wilt Chamberlain (35) and Jerry West (33), the team was supposed to be approaching the end of the era, a perception strengthened by Baylor’s retirement just nine games into the season.

Then: the streak. From Nov. 5 through Jan. 7, the Lakers reeled off 33 consecutive wins, raising their Elo rating over 200 points, from 1544 to 1753. That was the team’s peak rating for the season, although the Lakers did go on to win the 1972 title, the franchise’s sixth and its first since 1954.

The ’60s Celtics Don’t Get Any Respect

celticsThe Boston Celtics won 11 of 13 NBA titles from 1957 through 1969, a dominance unparalleled in modern sports. Elo doesn’t care about rings, though, and knocks the Celtics for their weak opponents and occasionally lackluster regular seasons (at least relative to their playoff achievements). Still, the Celtics’ Elo rating hung around 1700 (really good) for much of the era, and the team maintained an above-average Elo rating for over 13 years. Only the 1980s-era Lakers and the current San Antonio Spurs, a team with which those Celtics have a lot in common, put together similar streaks.

The Knicks Peaked A Long Time Ago

best_knicksThe 1969-70 season was a great one for New York basketball. Led by Willis Reed, Walt Frazier and Dave DeBusschere, the Knicks were 23-1 through Nov. 28 and hit an Elo rating of 1712 — the highest in franchise history. Things were a little less smooth after that: New York went 37-21 to close out the regular season and was taken to seven games twice in the playoffs. By the time the Knicks won the franchise’s first title in May, their rating had fallen to 1591.

It’s been awhile since Nov. 28, 1969. No other active team has an Elo peak so long ago; the next closest are the Bucks (March 8, 1971) and Nets (Feb. 23, 1975, when they were still in the ABA). Every moment of Knicks daylight since — from Linsanity to Larry Johnson’s 4-point play — has not quite lived up to their former glory.

There Is No Dana, Only Zuul (And Steph Curry)


Even the NBA Defensive POY can’t stop Chef Curry’s stew

Ghostbusters Wiki

Zuul the Gatekeeper of Gozer is a demigod and minion of Gozer, The Destructor, alongside Vinz Clortho the Keymaster.  While typically Zuul is depicted and theorized to be a woman, the demigod can appear as any form it so chooses.

Enter stage left, the Golden State Warriors on Monday night as they take on the 2nd best team in the NBA, the San Antonio Spurs.  The Warriors, in this scenario, are Zuul….the gatekeeper and the deciding factor for when and how to release Gozer, The Destructor (Steph Curry) onto the helpless prey that is the entire NBA.

The Warriors deconstructed and dismantled the Spurs last night, 120-90.  Gozer (Curry) scored 26 points in the first 21 minutes.  He went on to finish with 37 points on 12-of-20 shooting in only three quarters, he sat the ENTIRE fourth quarter and admired his reign of this new kingdom he’s assembled, formerly known as the NBA.

Kawhi Leonard is the most disruptive perimeter defensive player in the NBA, but not even crossing the proton streams and opening a reverse gateway could stop Steph Curry and the Warriors.  Kawhi is holding his opponents to just 39.4 percent on field goals, during the month of January the Spurs let just one wing, DeMar DeRozan, score 20 points against them.  Steph Curry went for 37 points in 28 minutes of play last night.

The rest of the NBA needs to start praying to whatever god they seem fit, right now is the reign of Zuul and Gozer…..and I fear there’s no way to stop the impending carnage.

Steph Curry OWNS The NBA

Memphis Grizzlies v Golden State Warriors

The baby-faced assassin just keeps doin it, EVERY single night he makes us all collectively mutter “ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh” and “aaahhhhhhhhhh” while we watch Warriors highlights, he’s an atm machine for incredible plays and unreal shot-making ability.

Last night was no different as his Bay Area squad video-gamed the Memphis Grizzlies 119-69, YES YOU READ THAT SCORE CORRECTLY.  That’s a 50-point win over a strong, playoff-bound Grizzlies team (I know it’s only week 1 of the NBA season, calm down Grizz fans).  Steph put on a show yet again, scoring 21 points in the third quarter marking the third time he’s scored 20 or more in a single quarter in the last four games.  He also did this:

Then 20 seconds later he did this:

Just to get you up to speed fully:

Screen Shot 2015-11-03 at 10.27.49 AM

Four minutes later he decided to share the wealth a little bit (always making his teammates better):

Watching Steph play is like watching a grown up destroy junior high kids on a 9-foot hoop (minus the unnecessary ego and overall sadness).  But what separates Curry from all the other superstars in the league right now is simple, he’s NOT a 6’9″ athletic freak who’s god-given size and athleticism is what makes the difference.  His skill and years of hard work is what makes the difference.  He’s 6’3″, 185 lbs……he’s not going to physically overpower ANYONE in the league.  He’s not Allen Iverson-quick, he can’t bounce outta the gym like a human pogo-stick ala Derrick Rose-2010 (RIP).

What Steph Curry does it what theoretically any kid with a little bit of talent and a TON of hard work could do.  He makes shots from everywhere on the floor, that’s a learned and acquired skill coming from thousands of hours of shooting drills…”Shooters aren’t born, they’re made”.  His handles are elite, the ball is on a string and he’s always under complete control, that’s from thousands of hours of ball-handling drills.

As a point guard, a major responsibility is decision making and leading a team on the floor.  Great decision-makers and floor generals have to be the smartest and mentally toughest players in the game all the time, they steady the ship when it’s going down and they push the envelope when the team needs a kick in the ass.

Decision making skills are accumulated over time from always playing against the best competition possible, watching and analyzing film while being super critical of yourself as well as listening to coaches.  Steph Curry exemplifies all of these traits to perfection.

Steph is a smart, COACHABLE, talented player that has worked harder than anyone else to be the player he is now, he doesn’t rely on size or athleticism, he relies on skill, intelligence and mental toughness.  Every day you get better or you get worse, there’s no standing still in the NBA and Steph is ONLY going to get better as long as he keeps this mentality and work ethic.

This is why he owns the NBA right now and it’s why he’s the best player in the league.  Move over Lebron, watch out KD and get your popcorn ready, there’s a new gunslinger in town and his six-shooter is cocked, locked and ready to rock.


Klay All Day

Steve Kerr has it right when he describes Klay Thompson’s record-setting shooting performance last night as “otherworldly.” Thompson’s hot streak was paired with a kind of enigmatic sync with the universe that even the player development guys couldn’t explain.


Pretty much every shooter out there, myself included, can relate to this feeling when they think back on a night where they found themselves hitting shots with uncanny fluidity and thought: I’m good but am I that good? Then you snap out of it and just hold on for dear life, praying it doesn’t end before the clock does.

Klay just put all of us and all of those feelings to shame times infinity.

Last night against Sacramento he set the league record for most points ever scored in one quarter (37 in the 3rd), the majority of which came in a continuous onslaught during the final 6 minutes. He also set the league record for highest 3-point percentage (11 for 15, 73.3%) for any player shooting 15 or more in a game. People were falling out of their chairs at the arena on Friday and today NBA fans are still in a frenzy re-watching the tape. Everyone seems to be gushing except Thompson, who seems to be sticking to his patented humility.

This morning every shooting coach and skills trainer in America re-printed their business cards and walked out of the house with a spring in their step because their stock just went up.

  • A.M. Boidock is a contributor to TheCoLA