NBA Highlights From Last Night That Will Make You Laugh, Cry and Cry Again.

The NBA is in full swing, going into the 4th week of mostly terrible, beginning of the season, all-star-game-quality-defense basketball, unless you’re a Golden State Warriors fan.  Damn they’re good.

Last night barraged us with several worthy highlights that would make the Top 10 and the NOT Top 10 lists.  He’s a quick overview:

–Normally I’d never discuss a Timberwolves @ Magic highlight for any reason other than horrific injuries or Yeti sightings.  But last night the two possible playoff 8-seeds had a game-winner scenario hit by the French-est of NBA Frenchman, Evan Fournier (don’t google the french meaning of his last name, I promise).

In my head as I watched this, Fournier screamed out, “RASBERRY CREPES!” when the ball went through the cylinder for the go-ahead bucket.

–Dallas Mavs @ Boston Celtics game last night, Kelly Olynyk pulled out a Dirk Nowitzki ON Dirk Nowitzki!

Olynyk looks like someone….but i can’t quite put my finger on who:


–Toronto Raptors’ guard and dunk-machine, Demar DeRozen put the Utah Jazz’s posterized-big man, Rudy Gobert INTO THE BASKET with this ridiculous, man-hood reducing dunk last night:

–Dion Waiters of the OKC Thunder has a growing problem, missing wide open layups.  This happened last night as the OKC Thunder took on the New Orleans Hornets:

Dion did the same thing in January of last season:

And AGAIN last January:

 –The Phoenix Suns took on the Chicago Bulls in Chicago last night.  It was a solid, efficient, nothing-flashy kind of game on both sides with Chicago grinding out the win.  Jimmy Butler (killin it) finished with 32 points for the game, with 14 of them coming in the 4th quarter.  The REAL highlight is the fact that yet again, Derrick Rose is hurt and on the sideline, NOT in uniform for Chicago.  When is enough…..enough?  If you’re a Chicago fan, when do you break ties?  Sidenote:  Jimmy Butler is the best player on this team, he’s better than Derrick Rose now.  Deal with it.  

Karl Malone will fight everyone in this ROOM

Karl Malone went on Huff Post Live yesterday (why?) to do an interview with Marc Lamont Hill (serial killer name).  I have no idea why he was on Huff Post Live, I suppose they must’ve needed that always important 45-60 years old Utah Jazz fan demo in order to boost ratings??

Basically the interview turned into “The Mailman” challenging Kobe Bryant to fistacuffs, any time, any place.  This interview is even BETTER when you read the transcription:

Malone’s agent, Dwight Manley, told the Los Angeles Times on Sunday that Malone was asked by Vanessa Bryant, “Hey, cowboy, what are you hunting?” in reference to Malone wearing a cowboy hat and boots.

“She said it twice,” Manley said, “and Karl answered, ‘I’m hunting for little Mexican girls.’ ”

Malone continued on……..

Malone:  “You gotta understand, Marc, I’m a hunter, so I’m already right there anyways. … I love Westerns. I’m old school Western. Back in the day when you had a beef, you didn’t get guns and knives, you just “hey Marc, I got a problem.” We just go in the back with no cameras, no nothing, let’s just knuckle up and get it over with.”

Hill:  “Did you ever make that offer to Kobe?”

Malone:  “No, but it’s standing.”

Malone later on in the interview would add:

“I’m 6’9″, 272, to be exact. I’m not hard to find. I don’t want no trouble, but if something gotta go down, I’m not playing fair. We gotta get down, then we gotta get down, I’m just telling you.”

And you know Karl Malone is dead serious, I mean he did do this once: