Kevin Garnett Turns Back The Clock On Blake Griffin’s FACE

In the NBA, there’s a slightly unwritten rule guideline for defenders; if you’re the only guy back on defense in a 2-on-1 situation where someone big or athletic (or formerly athletic) is trailing the play slightly (timing up his steps) and he has ANY amount of bounce left in his system, you’re gonna get dunked on.  You’re better off “going for the steal” on the pass or faking an injury and just running off the court before you get humiliated.  EVEN if you stand motionless in an attempt to take the charge, you will be mashed-on like potatoes on Thanksgiving…..pass the gravy son, you got served!

  “My priiiiiide’s telling me nooooooooo, but my body… bodddddyyyyyyy is telling me yesssss!”  Kevin Garnett STILL has a little bump-n-grind left in his system, if you let him get his feet timed-up, WATCH OUT.

NBA Highlights From Last Night That Will Make You Laugh, Cry and Cry Again.

The NBA is in full swing, going into the 4th week of mostly terrible, beginning of the season, all-star-game-quality-defense basketball, unless you’re a Golden State Warriors fan.  Damn they’re good.

Last night barraged us with several worthy highlights that would make the Top 10 and the NOT Top 10 lists.  He’s a quick overview:

–Normally I’d never discuss a Timberwolves @ Magic highlight for any reason other than horrific injuries or Yeti sightings.  But last night the two possible playoff 8-seeds had a game-winner scenario hit by the French-est of NBA Frenchman, Evan Fournier (don’t google the french meaning of his last name, I promise).

In my head as I watched this, Fournier screamed out, “RASBERRY CREPES!” when the ball went through the cylinder for the go-ahead bucket.

–Dallas Mavs @ Boston Celtics game last night, Kelly Olynyk pulled out a Dirk Nowitzki ON Dirk Nowitzki!

Olynyk looks like someone….but i can’t quite put my finger on who:


–Toronto Raptors’ guard and dunk-machine, Demar DeRozen put the Utah Jazz’s posterized-big man, Rudy Gobert INTO THE BASKET with this ridiculous, man-hood reducing dunk last night:

–Dion Waiters of the OKC Thunder has a growing problem, missing wide open layups.  This happened last night as the OKC Thunder took on the New Orleans Hornets:

Dion did the same thing in January of last season:

And AGAIN last January:

 –The Phoenix Suns took on the Chicago Bulls in Chicago last night.  It was a solid, efficient, nothing-flashy kind of game on both sides with Chicago grinding out the win.  Jimmy Butler (killin it) finished with 32 points for the game, with 14 of them coming in the 4th quarter.  The REAL highlight is the fact that yet again, Derrick Rose is hurt and on the sideline, NOT in uniform for Chicago.  When is enough…..enough?  If you’re a Chicago fan, when do you break ties?  Sidenote:  Jimmy Butler is the best player on this team, he’s better than Derrick Rose now.  Deal with it.  

Hey look, it’s Andrew Wiggins

If you’re like me, I’m sure you forgot about Andrew Wiggins the second he was sent beyond the wall (GOT).  I figured by now he’d be coaching a youth pond-hockey team due to a court-mandated sentence of community service (Gordon Bombay).

Then last night he did this on a 7-footer whose name sounds like a Mediterranean ocean:

Mo Williams joins the 50 point club

Williams scored a career-high 52 points, the most points in a game in the league this season, and the Minnesota Timberwolves snapped a 15-game losing streak with a 110-101 victory over the Pacers on Tuesday night.

Williams also broke the Timberwolves’ franchise record, which is sorta like being the tallest dwarf.

I’d like to take credit for this performance, obviously when I wrote this last week:

Mo Williams was listening and must have been following