Ranking The Remaining Playoff QBs

We’ve reached the NFL’s Final Four (all rights reserved by the NCAA), only the toughest, meanest and most photogenic teams are left.  Well, except for the Steelers, they re-define “ugly football”.

This weekend the REAL playoffs begin, let’s be honest no one out there really believed in Houston, Las Vegas (Oakland), Kansas City the ghost of Seattle and/or the Jerry Jones disciples in Dallas.  The cream of the crop and the superstars always show-out in the playoffs, I’m talking about players and coaches combined.  The Pats are a pillar of consistency for the AFC championship game, the Tim Allen of the NFL, if you will permit me to obscurely reference (doesn’t it seem like he’s ALWAYS working??).  New England is in their 6th straight AFC championship game; death, taxes and Patriots in the AFC Championship game are the only absolutes in this life.  Good luck to you Steeler fans, don’t forget your live-streaming devices.

Divisional Playoffs - Baltimore Ravens v New England Patriots

In the NFC, we’ve got two incredibly hot (so hot right now) teams in what will be the Mad Max of an NFC Championship game.  Absolute chaos lead by pass-crazy, do everything yourself, not following any of society’s rules, Quarterbacks both vying for the sweat cream of a trip to the Superbowl.   Aaron Rodgers has been borderline videogame satus, throwing darts and strikes like he was Michael van Gerwen or Ravichandran Ashwin.  Extra points if you can tell me who either of those guys are, without clicking the links.

With the remaining gunslingers left in the NFL-Koi pond, the question naturally arises:  Who’s the best QB left in the playoffs, RIGHT NOW?

Obviously, these four passers are among the league leaders in just about every category.  One of Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers or Matt Ryan is likely to win the AP’s MVP award this season, while Ben Roethlisberger isn’t far off from their 2016 standard.  Roethlisberger comes in as the 10th-best passer in the league by opponent-adjusted Total QBR, while Ryan, Brady and Rodgers each rank in the top four. The only top-four passer missing is Dak Prescott, who’s soul was imploded by Rodgers on Sunday.

So who ya got?  RIGHT NOW, leading your team the rest of the way?

Tom Brady:


He’s Tom Brady.  12-time Pro Bowler, 4-time Superbowl Champ, 2-time Superbowl MVP.  And just to re-iterate the point, he’s TOM BRADY.   Over the last 5 games (Houston, Miami, New York Jets, Denver and Baltimore) Mr. Bundchen has gone 101 out of 168 for 1,371 yds and 11 TDs.  He’s had a QBR of 74.96 and the golden locks of an angel high on heavenly opiates.  He’s gone 5-0 against 3 of the NFL’s top 10 defenses to round out his yellow-brick road travels to the AFC Championship game.

Ben Roethlisberger:


Big Ben, the 5-time Pro Bowler and 2-time Superbowl champ has been his normal, scrambly, impossible to freaking tackle, water-buffalo with a rocket for an arm-self in 2016.  When Ben is healthy, he’s a Top 5 QB in the league.  He’s gone 5-0 to lead his Steel-curtain boys through the end of the regular season and make this AFC Championship run, beating Buffalo, Cincinnati, Baltimore, Miami and Kansas City.  Over the last 5 games, Big Ben has gone 95 out of 149 for 1,206 yds and 6 TDs.  His QBR is only at 58.9, but it goes along with 2 broken ankles, 3 lacerated pelvises, 6 cracked vertebrae and a scorching case of herpes.  Big Ben is an animal, the guy only needs one leg and a half an arm to make a back-shoulder throw to Antonio Brown for a 70-yard touchdown.

Matt Ryan:


Matt Ryan has been on a tear this season, posting career highs in basically every offensive category and making a very strong push for MVP of the league, not to mention being just a really, really nice guy.  I mean look at him , doesn’t he seem like the kind of guy that’d hold the door open for an old lady, or stop traffic for a family of ducks?  In his last 5 games, his overall QBR has been a staggering 86.68, which leads the remaining playoff QBs.  He’s thrown for 14 TDs (tied with Rodgers) and 1,469 yds in the last 5 games, taking the Falcons through LA, SF, Carolina, New Orleans and Seattle to finish the regular season strong and procure a spot in the NFC Championship.  If it wasn’t for Aaron Rodgers’ late game heroics and badly-acted but somehow still funny every time-State Farm commercials, EVERYONE would be talking about Matt Ryan’s MVP season in 2016.

Aaron Rodgers:


Discount Double-Check has been damn near perfect over the last 5 games.  He’s raised his normal greatness to another level of ludicrous-greatness (we can’t stop, it’s too dangerous), and if he leads his injury-ridden Packers squad to the Superbowl then he’s solidified himself as the 2016 MVP and the biggest late-season hero in green since the Grinch gave the Whos from Whoville their presents back.  I’m not sure if it’s the luck of the Irish or if Aaron Rodgers has a deal with the devil, but he’s been on fire and seems unstoppable the rest of the way.   I’m not gonna give you any stats, cause Mr. Rodgers doesn’t need numbers to win games……nerd.


NFL MVP Race is Under Way

-originally posted on ESPN-

Previous polls: Week 15 | Week 14 | Week 13

1. Tom Brady, QB | New England Patriots

Regular-season passing: 249-for-372 (66.9 percent); 3,064 yards; 22 TDS; 2 INTs; 80.6 Total QBR

Case for Brady: As long as you don’t mind the fact that he has played 10 games and the other candidates have played 14, Brady is your guy. His numbers projected over 16 games would end up at 4,902 yards, 35 touchdowns and three interceptions — and he’s 9-1.

Case against Brady: He has played only 10 games, and the other candidates have played 14.

T2. Derek Carr, QB | Oakland Raiders

Regular-season passing: 336-for-529 (63.5 percent); 3,705 yards; 25 TDs; 6 INTs; 60.8 Total QBR

Case for Carr: He is the quarterback of an 11-3 team that has made the playoffs for the first time in 14 years, and his fourth-quarter performances have been sterling. Carr fits what the Raiders seem to be: an upstart, gunslinger-type squad that’s fun to imagine as even better than it is right now.

Case against Carr: He’s middle-of-the pack in QBR and several other key stats, and he was 0-2 this year against the Chiefs, the Raiders’ closest AFC West competitors. Carr’s performance in those big games could end up costing him votes.

T2. Ezekiel Elliott, RB | Dallas Cowboys

Regular-season rushing: 310 carries; 1,551 yards; 13 TDs
Regular-season receiving: 31 receptions; 351 yards; 1 TD

Case for Elliott: The Cowboys’ offense is built around the run, and Elliott has 327 more rushing yards than any other player in the league. He just cut through one of the league’s hottest defenses to the tune of 159 rushing yards, and he stayed on the field for a few third downs and made a big catch or two in that game. To borrow a timely catchphrase, he’s the MVP candidate doing the most good.

Case against Elliott: Quarterbacks tend to win this award, so it’s an uphill battle for anyone who plays Elliott’s position, no matter how well he might be playing it. And there are some who feel (unjustifiably) that Elliott’s performance is more a reflection of his offensive line’s performance than of anything special about Elliott himself.

4. Matt Ryan, QB | Atlanta Falcons

Regular-season passing: 319-for-465 (68.6); 4,336 yards; 32 TDs; 7 INTs; 81.8 Total QBR

Case for Ryan: No one matches Ryan on the raw numbers. He leads in Total QBR, ranks second in yards, first in yards per attempt, second in touchdown passes and third in completion percentage. Counting only those who have played the whole season, Ryan has been the best quarterback in the league this year. And he has a team with a shaky defense sitting there at 9-5 and in first place.

Case against Ryan: That 9-5 record is nice, but it’s not the 12-2 or 11-3 that some of the other candidates are rocking. And in a race this good, that can be held against you. Ryan also has a star running back helping him out in Devonta Freeman, so maybe that’s it. But honestly, I can’t figure out why he’s so low on this list.

5. Aaron Rodgers, QB | Green Bay Packers

Regular-season passing: 346-for-533 (64.9); 3,781 yards; 32 TDs; 7 INTs; 75.5 Total QBR

Case for Rodgers: Even after his much-publicized rough start, Rodgers is fourth in the NFL in QBR for the season. He is completing 70.7 percent of his passes and averaging 8.29 yards per attempt, and he has seven touchdown passes and no interceptions during the Packers’ current four-game winning streak. He’s also working with a third-string running back and a shaky defense.

Case against Rodgers: The Packers are only 8-6, and while they’ll win the NFC North with wins in their final two games, it took them way too long to get into gear. Rodgers’ early-season performance drags down his overall numbers and, likely, his overall case in the eyes of voters.

NFL Week 1 Overreaction – Quick Week 2 Preview


Football is finally back!  Coach Belichick is so excited he nearly knocked over his wife with a Brady/Gisele baby-making level pregame kiss.

The overreaction Tuesday morning was staggering, after week 1 of the NFL season every analyst and fan is more ready to boom or bust than a porn star who’s nominated for best actress in a multi-character scene award at the Stiffy’s.

Week 1 Most Impressive Win


No Tom Brady?  No problem.  Traveling 2,600 miles to play an NFC Superbowl contender with an aggressive, scary defense?  No problem.  Jimmy Garoppolo starting for the first time in his career?  No problem.  No Gronk?  No problem.

Jimmy Garoppolo threw for 264 yards and a touchdown, leading the New England Patriots to a 23-21 victory over the favored Arizona Cardinals.

Arizona’s Chandler Catanzaro missed a 47-yard field goal with 41 seconds to play that would’ve given the Cards the game (ouch).  The “laces-out-Dan” came after Garoppolo directed the Patriots from their own 19 to the Arizona 15 to set up Stephen Gostkowski‘s 23-yard field goal for what proved to be the winner with 3:44 to play.

Why does it feel like the Pats are gonna go 3-1 or 4-0 without Brady and then cruise through the regular season?  It just feels like the hurricane is coming when they get healthy.

Week 1 Most Disappointing Loss


My word the Rams looked terrible.  I’m forever convinced that whatever team is the focus of HBO’s Hard Knocks, is destined to have a terrible season similar to the “Madden Curse”.  The Rams offense looked like an unfolded lawn chair on Sunday.  Top 3 fantasy running back and Carl’s Junior burger rep, Todd Gurley, ran for 47 yds on 17 carries, while the “I guess he’s our starter” QB, Case Keenum tossed for 130 yds on 17-30 passing.  The Rams consumed a total of 10 first downs the entire game, and 185 total yards which ranks them 31st in the league (how is that NOT last place?  Oh yeah, Buffalo).  The 49ers are on the brink of full dumpster-fire status and yet the Rams are currently worse, I know it’s a long season but the inaugural return football to LA looks like any Nic Cage movie NOT titled “Raising Arizona” or “The Rock” or “Face Off”……..just BAD from the very first second.

  Week 1 Most Annoying Topic

Josh Norman NOT shadowing Antonio Brown, thus AB proceeding to torch the Redskins in video game-ish form going for 126 yards receiving and 2 TDs.  Seriously, Antonio Brown is more unguardable than Steph Curry would be if the defender was wearing ice skates.

Having said that, it’s mind-boggling that the Redskins DIDN’T put Norman on Brown the entire game.  There’s no answer that makes sense for that strategy.  “Don’t let the other guys beat us” strategies very rarely work, especially in the NFL when it comes to an offense that clicks harder than Adam Sandler with a remote control and a badly conceptualized comedy.

But at this point, I’ve heard enough.  Move on from Josh Norman and the Redskins, they don’t matter in the NFC anyway, it’s Carolina and Arizona’s conference to lose this season.

Week 2 (and future) Questions

  1. Is Denver real?  Can they keep the running game going and hide the fact that they really don’t have a QB?  Or will Simeon turn into a player?
  2. Will Carolina lose another game this season?
  3. What the hell is going on with Seattle?
  4. Oakland is scary folks, seriously.  Check them out.
  5. Pittsburgh’s offense may end up being the best in the NFL this season, can they do enough on defense and stay healthy enough to make another Superbowl run?  (I really like watching Big Ben play QB, don’t you?)

Tom Brady–Peyton Manning Rivalry As Defined By Wikipedia (before yesterday)


–Brady-Manning Rivalry is an actual topic on Wikipedia–


Manning and Brady have played each other seventeen times, with Brady leading the head-to-head series 11-6, although they are currently tied 5-5 over their last 10 meetings (which encompasses the past 10 seasons). Brady leads the Colts–Patriots series 8-4[10] and also leads the Broncos-Patriots series 3-2.[11] Brady leads the series in Foxborough 8-2 (7-2 at Gillette Stadium), Manning leads the series in Indianapolis/Denver 4-3.[11] The most recent road win for either quarterback in the rivalry was Brady’s 2007 win at Indianapolis.

The two quarterbacks have met five times in the NFL Playoffs, with Manning leading the playoff series 3-2. Four of the five matchups have been in the AFC Championship Game, with Manning having won three of the four.

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 The Tom Brady–Peyton Manning rivalry is a series of games between two of the greatest quarterbacks in the National Football League (NFL): Tom Brady and Peyton Manning.  Brady has played for the New England Patriots since 2000 when he was the 199th pick in the sixth round of the NFL Draft.  He has been the starter since 2001, after Drew Bledsoe was injured early in the season, and has been so since, with the exception of the 2008 NFL season when he tore his ACL in the opening game.  Manning was drafted by the Indianapolis Colts in the 1998 NFL Draft with the number 1 pick and played for the Colts until a neck injury caused him to miss the 2011 NFL season.  After the season, Manning signed with the Denver Broncos.

Who Sucks? NFL Edition: Week 2


Objectively, I must warn you that I am in fact a bit of an idiot (pause for punchline)……….savant, so some of this will only make sense in my head and my head only.  The good news is you can stop reading at any time and go back to your bean-counting or ditch-digging and totally disregard the TRUTH bomb that I’m about to lay all over your face.  Sorry in advance if you’re a Eagles, Bills, Browns or Jags fan.

Who Sucks in the NFL: Week 2 Edition

  1.  Chip Kelly:  You traded and/or released every good player from the Philly roster in the off-season, replacing them with Mr. Glass (Sam Bradford) at QB and even attempted to revive Tim Tebow’s career (Jesus thanks you).  To your credit, you did add last season’s leading rusher, DeMarco Murray.  But you have yet to teach him or any of the other new editions (Bobby Brown) your metaphysical, rainbows and unicorn-based offensive playbook.  DeMarco Murray is on pace for 88 yards rushing…….FOR THE SEASON.  Sam Bradford looks like he forgot which end to hold the football when he goes to throw it and constantly seems to be saying to his receivers, “I thought you were gonna button-hook….” after incompletions.
  2. Pete Carroll and the Seahawks coaching staff:  You traded arguably the best Center in the league for arguably the best Tight End in the league and you refuse to run plays for him or throw him the damn ball.  Jimmy Graham has been targeted 10 times in two games, has 7 catches for 62 yds and 1 TD.  He had 1 catch for 11 yds in week 2 against the Packers and looked like a third-string practice player wandering around the field aimlessly looking for his helmet.  Through two games, 20 tight ends have more receiving yards than he does. Darrell Bevell, the offensive coordinator for Seattle said getting the ball to Jimmy would be a point of emphasis moving forward from week 2.  Really?  It took you two weeks to come to that conclusion?  Jimmy needs the damn ball, JIMMY needs to score TDs, Jimmy’s new in town…..Jimmy doesn’t really know anyone:    
  3. The Jacksonville Jaguars, Cleveland Browns and Buffalo Bills: Seriously, you all suck and you are ruining fantasy football which is even worse than actually sucking ON the football field.  You’ve all been hyped up with “expectations” and “potential” and big tough-guy words (Rex Ryan) during the off-season so much that everyone thought MAYBE some of it was true.  It’s not.  Your fantasy existence is that of an annoying cut on the inside of your mouth that would heal if you could only stop accidentally re-biting it.

    Jags:  Julius Thomas is hurt and will never be healthy, ALL your receivers are a complete and total crap-shoot and utterly undependable on a weekly basis, so is Blake Bortles.

    Browns: Manziel is a trainwreck of a dumpster fire and will be exciting, inconsistent and revolting all at the same time.  In addition, Travis Benjamin is the WORST fantasy receiver of all time (and we’re only 2 weeks in), in two games he’s totaled 6 catches, 204 yds and 3 TDs including 2 of those touchdowns being OVER 50 yard pass plays……yet EVERY analyst out there says “don’t add him, this can’t possibly last it’s a two-game fluke”.  So now that I’ve said that, go ahead and add him to your roster, play him next week and he’ll inevitably put up a ZERO every week for the rest of the season, then you can cry yourself to sleep on your cardboard box-bed since your girlfriend kicked you out of the house for sucking at Fantasy Football.

    Bills:  Rex Ryan may be a fan favorite and a player’s coach, but he needs to shut the hell up.  He’s a bigger distraction to his team then he is an actual coach.  He doesn’t take the spotlight off of the players in order to help them prepare for the next game in a positive way, instead he sucks in bullshit with his giant mouth-hole and becomes a lightning rod of annoying, drunk-uncle speeches.  Anyone else tired of Rex Ryan saying, “This loss is on me”.  Yeah, we know Rex….we know.  Oh, and news flash:  LeSean McCoy isn’t gonna be healthy all season, I can just feel it down in my cockles (and it stings when I pee).

  4.  Dallas Cowboys fans:  Let me explain:  You’ve lost Tony Romo for at least 8 weeks, you’ve lost Dez Bryant for 6-10 weeks depending on which etch-a-sketch sports news report you’re watching, you LOST DeMarco Murray to an inner-division rival and have replaced him with a committee (ANY time there’s a committee, it’s bad news) that’s produced 183 yds and 1 TD rushing between three guys in two games.  I know, I know that’s a better stat than DeMarco’s terrible start to this season…..but that’s on Chip Kelly, DeMarco is a baller and you all know it to be true.  Anyway, you’re about to start Brandon Weeden at QB, who has a career QBR of 73.4 and has a 1-to-1 TD to INT ratio.  On paper, the 2015 season should be over already.  BUT thanks to the NFC East Division: Football For the Underachievers, you’re actually STILL most people’s front-runner to win the division and go to the playoffs.  That’s how bad the NFC East is folks, you can lose your QB, your #1 receiver, your #1 RB and still have a shot at winning the division.  THAT’S why you suck Dallas fans, because you still have something to root for and now all anyone will hear all season is the shoulda-coulda-woulda’s about IF Dez hadn’t got hurt and IF Romo hadn’t got hurt.  Question for you:  What if you trade for RGIII?  Is that something that would interest you?
  5.  Buffalo Bills fans attending home games:  AGAIN, let me explain.  Apparently a fad has become prevalent in Buffalo NY, I can only imagine it’s due to the cold weather and abundance of brown water available in the stadium (adult content below):

    Seriously, what the hell is going on in Buffalo?

  6. Roger Goodell:  Ignoring the obvious multi-billion dollar industry that he runs and the fact that he earns $40 million a year for the job he’s doing.  Basically every fan hates Goodell, and now Tom Effing Brady and the New England Effing Patriots are throwing a big middle finger to the sky and ROLLING through anyone in their way, treading right over Roger Goodell and his beloved “NFL Shield”.  Watch, they’re gonna end up in the Super Bowl again and what happens when/if they win it again?  Is Goodell gonna try to slap ANOTHER badly investigated accusation on them in the off-season??  Does Tom Brady stand up in the post-game with the Lombardi Trophy in one hand and the Super Bowl MVP trophy in the other and tell Goodell, “You get nothing!  You LOSE!  Good day sir!!”           
                Goodell made mistakes in the Ray Rice situation, he made mistakes in handling the Adrian Peterson situation and then double-downed HARD on deflategate but was bitch-slapped by The Golden Boy and the Patriots organization in court.  What’s next?  What’s the encore for 2015?  Gonna decide to come down hard on those pesky, self-medicating marijuana users in the NFL this season (even though it’s legal in almost half the NFL states)?

Everyone Has A Plan Until You Get Punched In The Face (a good waste of 15 minutes)

A great article posted on ESPN today listing the Top 25 Worst Blowouts In Sports History had me grinning like an idiot with string cheese while i sat at my cubical desk this morning.

The list is long and distinguished (zing), with the lowlights highlights of various games that I remembered starting with the New England Patriots 59-0 over the Tennessee Titans in 2009 when Tom Effing Brady threw 5 TDs in the second quarter.  Titans QBs, Kerry Collins and Vince Young COMBINED for -7 yards passing that day.  WOW.

I kept reading and stopped in my tracks at #21 on the list:  Mike Tyson def. Marvis Frazier, 30-second TKO……..then I found the fight on youtube (thanks internet):

It made me realize and remember just how much of a complete lunatic FORCE that Mike Tyson at age 20 really was.  If you’ve never watched a real Tyson fight, I mean from when he was REALLY Mike Tyson between 1987-1991ish, then here you go:

Have a happy Friday all you CoLA desciples.





Best Thing I’ve Seen Today

If Tom Brady had actually been suspended to start this season, Jimmy Garoppolo would have become a household name.  He would’ve been the “Willie Beamen” of our Oliver Stone directed NFL football season in 2015.  But alas, all we have is the imagination of kids who wonder what life would’ve been like if the Golden Boy was sitting the bench:

Thank God For The Internet

Now that Deflategate is HOPEFULLY over and done with.  That was a tough, long 9-month football pregnancy.  Let’s just appreciate the internet trolls and what they do:

“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”