Party Tricks: The Cheapest Ways To Stock Your Bar Before the Festivities

Don Draper, Sam Malone, and Mo from The Simpsons; what do all these leading men have in common? In addition to offensive vocabulary and a square jaw, all three luminaries have the uncanny ability to finesse a sophisticated cocktail out of thin air quicker than Dwayne Johnson releases movies about world-ending catastrophes. While we can’t all be iconic debutants of style and class all the time, becoming the Lothario of liquors with an exceptional home bar is attainable and even affordable.

A well-maintained alcohol armory can provide endless opportunities to impress friends, enrage frenemies, and even gain the attention of that attractive new neighbor. The main key to any home bar is to start with what you typically drink, as long as it’s not Zima, and then build from there.

Here are some options that won’t break the bank and send you back to two-buck Chuck.

Easy drinking: How To Stock Your Bar

St. Patty’s Day Irish Whiskey Rankings

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Two things we love on this perfect mish-mash of a highly alcoholic-cultural day with the greatest basketball day in sports history: Irish Whiskey and March Madness.

Here’s 11 great reasons to throw-up today and call in sick tomorrow:

  1. Paddy; $20, 80 proof

Paddy’s from Cork, if that sort of thing means anything to you, and it’s triple-distilled, as are most Irish whiskies. It’s very smooth and easy to drink, though a bit light on flavor, with hay and Triscuits atop a bit of nutmeg and not much else. Paddy is fine whiskey, particularly for the price, and it’s probably the strongest last-place finisher in any Drunkspin ranking. Sorry, Paddy, but we can’t all win. Or finish second-to-last.

  1. Kilbeggan, $26, 80 proof

Kilbeggan is slightly better than Paddy due to a deeper flavor profile, with some sweet corn and cinnamon notes that make it one of the more bourbon-like of the Irish whiskies in this lineup.

  1. Teeling Small Batch; $37, 92 proof

This was partially aged in used rum barrels, and it shows. I like rum, but the molasses and vanilla flavors were overpowering, without much real whiskey character underneath. It tastes objectively pleasant, though: rummy and slightly floral.

  1. 8. Jameson; $28, 80 proof

Jameson is the most popular Irish whiskey in America by a preposterous margin. It outsells second-place Bushmills by more than 10 to 1. That’s crazy, sure. But just because its market dominance isn’t justified by a strict qualitative accounting doesn’t mean Jameson sucks: This isn’t a Irish Jose Cuervo situation. Jameson smells like vanilla, candied orange peel, lemon, and pepper; it’s simple and clean but assertive enough to be worth the effort, and you should absolute accept it every time it’s offered.

  1. Bushmills; $25, 80 proof

Bushmills is from Northern Ireland. I like it because it tastes like apples, toast, cinnamon, and wet pine bark, with a light tropical hint underneath.

  1. Glendalough 7-Year Single Malt; $40, 92 proof

This is the entry-level bottling from one of the newest Irish distilleries, founded in 2011. It tastes somewhat harsh, boozier than 92 proof ought to, but I was won over by the relatively complex flavor profile featuring sweet orange, lemon, cinnamon, pear, pistachio, and wood.

  1. Powers; $32, 80 proof

Powers has a unique chocolate, cherry, and caramel flavor, along with cinnamon and a touch of clove.

  1. Tullamore D.E.W.; $28, 80 proof

So the D.E.W. represents an old distiller’s initials, which is nice, but feel free (by which I mean, feel obligated by decency) to pronounce it “Dew.” It opens with a strong, sweet vanilla and butterscotch aroma, with cherry and faint pine needle notes emerging with time. And this is weird, but hear me out: I swear I pick up a little mustard seed? Good stuff.

  1. Jameson Gold Reserve; $70, 80 proof

Of course it’s good, it costs $14 a gulp! But, price gripes aside, the caramel apple, cinnamon, vanilla bean, oak, indeterminate spice, and light toffee work very well together, and I’ll happily drink this any time someone else is buying.

  1. Tullamore Dew Trilogy 15-Year; $75, 80 proof

Another super-deluxe model, this one is a blend of whiskies aged in sherry, bourbon, and rum barrels. It tastes like butterscotch, orange blossoms, maybe even mango, definitely cashews, and smoked honey. It’s bonkers and delightful, and I would likely feel that way even if they hadn’t sent me a small sample bottle.

  1. Redbreast 12-Year; $55, 80 proof

Sweet and spicy, with vanilla, black pepper, plum, anise, and molasses. I will very rarely advocate that Drunkspin readers spend this many of their own dollars on a single bottle of liquor, especially one that’s only 80 proof, but here’s a plan: Get yourself a bottle of Redbreast and have two ounces on the 17th of every month for a year. You’ve done so many worse things with $55.

Everything You Need to Know About Whiskey (Slow Sports Day)

Recently, Esquire posted a great article (click here) articulating what every person who loves whiskey should know about grandpa’s cough medicine.  Here’s a taste of the semipretentious genius information that apparently we should all already know………..

1. BEER

Whiskey is made from beer. Boring, sometimes weird beer, but beer nonetheless.

2. CASK STRENGTH

Whiskey bottled at the (high) proof at which it came out of the barrel. More expensive, ounce for ounce, but if you’re willing to add your own water, you’re getting more whiskey for the price.

3. CHILL FILTRATION

When whiskey gets cold, some of its fatty acids congeal, causing it to look cloudy. Most makers filter them, even at the cost of slightly diminishing the flavor.

4. COLUMN STILL

Uses steam injection to strip the beer of alcohol and produces a cleaner spirit than a pot still does. Column-still whiskeys don’t need as much age, but they don’t get that depth of grain flavor, either.

Column StillAnd here’s pictures of whiskey celebs that make me want to leave work right now and go drink whiskey (marketing win):
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