Kentucky Wildcats Fans BEWARE

draft-lottery

Any talk surrounding the NBA Lottery Draft (giving us a break from Deflategate and the NFL’s monsoon of irrelevant information) tonight has been given an extra exclamation point:

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 2.44.11 PMYou might be saying, “Wait, Calipari is saying he’s not interested in the New Orleans Pelicans job.”

To which I would answer, “Do you still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny too?”

If there’s any real certainty in life whether it be in politics or professional sports or the entertainment business, you can rest assured that if someone says definitively in public they are NOT doing something, then the opposite is probably more likely…and vice-versa.

As if I even need to give examples; Tom Brady and the Patriots (Deflategate, Spygate), Bill Clinton (sexy-times in the Oval office), Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Alex Rodriguez (Steroids), Tom Cruise, John Travolta (NOT being gay….not that there’s anything wrong with that), George Lopez (considers himself a comedian).  The examples go on forever.

  • Coach Cal was only able to sign 2 of the top 30 Freshman recruits for next year, something that has NEVER happened while Cal has been at Kentucky.  For other programs, that would be a terrific recruiting year, but for Calipari and the Kentucky Wildcats fans, that’s missing out on 28 top recruits.
  • Kentucky is losing at least 4-8 players from this year’s roster to the NBA, including arguably their best 4 players (Anthony-Towns, Cauley-Stein, Harrison brothers and Devin Booker).
  • Coach Cal would make upwards of $8 million per year as the NOLA head coach, IF the Pelicans are willing to ante up the dough.

Seems like a good time for Coach Cal to make the move to NOLA and coach two of his favorite former players.

Jared Lorenzen is still HUGE

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The “kid” on the right is incoming Kentucky Freshman, Matt Elam.  Elam weighs in at a solid 6’5″, 350-375lbs. depending on what freeway weigh-station he is transporting goods to and from.

READ THAT AGAIN.  6’5″, 375lbs is the SMEDIUM version of Jared Lorenzen.

In other news, several NFL teams need a starting QB right now.  I bet I can get Lorenzen’s cell # for you.

Or maybe just start grilling up some BBQ turkey legs and fry up some twinkies, Jared will come running.  The smoke from the fryer will act as a Fat-Bat-signal.